Living the Dream

Final thoughts . . .

2007-05-31T17:56:00.000-07:00

Today is the very last day of my service. June 1, 2007. My official Close of Service date. And in a few hours I will be boarding a plane and flying off into the wild blue. But before I go, I feel a need to post one final reflection.

This experience really has lived up to the old Peace Corps motto of "the toughest job you'll ever love". The toughest part wasn't the work, however, it was learning how to live and work in a completely unknown culture. One major difficulty for me here was that on the surface, it doesn't look so different. People dress in western styles, often speak English, go to McDonalds and Starbucks, and sport snazzy cell phones. Appearances, however, can deceive.

Just beneath the western veneer is a unique blend of distinct cultural differences. These show up in the expectations, values, time management, languages, worldviews, behaviors, and general attitudes of the people here. Sometimes the differences are overt . . sometimes covert. The covert ones are the toughest. It's tough to discern what the truth is sometimes, because people never want to "offend". What sometimes goes unrealized here, though, is that agreeing to do something simply not to "offend" . . . and then not following through . . . can even feel MORE offensive. Alas, just an example of a cultural difference that can generate frustration.

On the other hand, some of the cultural differences here have been a true source of comfort. Like the willingness to help someone with whatever - whenever they possibly can. For example, last year when I was going home to visit the U.S. I left my site in the afternoon and went to Baguio for the afternoon. I planned to take the midnite bus to Manila and then board my flight the next morning. At around 8pm in the evening my host sister texted. She had gone in my room to shut the windows and noticed my passport on my table. Fortunately, she realized I would need it and texted me.

At that time of day there are no rides going to my site, which is two hours away from Baguio. I was visiting with a teacher friend when I got the text. She didn't have a car either, but she automatically took it upon herself to help. She went next door and got her neighbor to get his jeep out of the garage and take me to get my passport. I texted my host sister and asked if my host brother, who has a vehicle, could meet us halfway. She didn't tell me at the time, but he was at a party, so she went to the party and pulled him away and told him he needed to do this thing for me. In the end, with the help of my friends along with someone who didn't know me at all . . I got my passport just in time to make it to Manila in time for my flight. This is just one example of the way the people here are always willing to accomodate and help.

Many times throughout my service, I had heavy loads to carry (books, bags, boxes, etc.) Never did I have to carry a load if there was a man or boy or girlfriend (who would find a boy) to help me. I have to say, here in the Philippines, chivalry is definitely not dead. . . and neither is good, old fashioned assistance. It's been nice.

So there were good times and tough times . . . highs and lows. But never have I regretted this choice. It has been a two-year lesson in life, death, love, indifference, togetherness, solitude, friendship, loneliness, and oh-so-much more.

In fact, I suspect I will be recognizing and realizing lessons I learned here for the rest of my life. I'm so glad I came. I'm so glad stayed. And I'm very glad that I will be home soon.

I have one last thing to do while I'm on this side of the world. I need to see more of Southeast Asia and some of China. So, I will be back in the states in five short weeks . . . and I look forward to seeing all of my family and friends.

And for all of you who have kept me in your thoughts, prayers, and emails . . . THANK YOU. I have felt and appreciated all your love. Thanks for supporting me as I discovered "how far I would go" to do "the toughest job I ever loved".

Okay . . love you all and see you soon!

Life goes on . . .

2007-05-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's true. Life really does go on. No matter how many tragedies happen around us, the world continues to survive and even thrive. And so it is. We are survivors.

I have been in Cebu City for the past two weeks being a facilitator at an English Language Camp for 137 teachers from Mindanao. The experience has been really wonderful, despite the difficulties. I came here wondering if I would be able to focus on the tasks at hand, given all that had been happening prior to the camp.

However, coming here turned out to be a great decision. The participants were so enthusiastic and involved in our classes that I really fed off their energy. An additional perk was that two weeks was long enough to really get to know a lot of them and learn about their lives in Mindanao. We all had a great time.

Unfortunately, we did experience a great loss during the course of the camp. One of the participants, a 41 year old woman, died. She started coughing one night and couldn't breathe. She went to the hospital about 3 am. They discovered that she had fluid in her lungs but were unable to remove it because her heart was too weak. She died of heart failure. So sad. She was a beautiful Muslim woman with five children. She and her family lived in Tawi Tawi, Mindanao. The participants from her region organized a memorial service; so yesterday we had a tribute ceremony for her after the closing ceremony for the camp.

Today, we are trickling out. Some of the participants left Cebu last night, some this morning. I will fly out around 4 this afternoon. Some will leave tomorrow. We all have places to go and things to do.

I will be flying back to Manila where I will spend the next week. I have medical and dental exams to undergo before I am free to leave the country. Also, I will be seeing and saying farewell to several of my batchmates.

So many goodbyes. So many "last times". Emotionally, it's tough. Even though I know that with every goodbye there is a new beginning. . . the goodbyes still sting. As well they should. If it didn't hurt to leave my fellow pcvs, then it would probably be because we never bonded. But that's certainly not the case. I think we have all been each other's 'life support' at one time or another during the past two years. And we all know that we will never pass this way . . in this way . . again. And so it stings for a short time.

And then we move on to the next stage of our lives. We come home. We reunite. We readjust. We reintegrate. And we begin again. We begin anew . . .

Life.
It goes on.

Goodbye dear friend

2007-04-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

I have tried to write this blog a number of times and failed because words seem so insufficient to express all that I feel.

How do you say goodbye forever to a friend who was so dear? I don't know.

By now most of you probably know that our deepest fears came true for our dear friend, Julia. She is no longer with us in this life. I won't go into detail because it's just too painful, but it appears that at least she passed quickly and her attacker has surrendered and been apprehended.

Dear Julia,
We all miss you here. We had a wonderful memorial celebration of you at the US Embassy on April 21. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we viewed a great slide show of you living life here in the Philippines, and we told funny stories and bragged on all your many accomplishments. I must say . . . we did you proud, girl. It was Julia-worthy. You would have loved it. And maybe you were even there. I like to think you were.

It's really hard to think about you being gone for good. REALLY hard. Even though we only knew each other for two years, these have been two really significant years. Two years that in many ways feel like they contain a lifetime worth of lessons and memories.

I remember our first conversation. It was in the Detroit Airport on March 30, 2005. Our flight to the Philippines was delayed for several hours, so to pass the time we went and ate sushi at a Japanese restaurant there. I was enchanted by you. You were the first person I ever knew who actually lived in New York City, was an editor for a newspaper and had written articles published in the New York Times. But to hear you talk, it was no big deal. You were so modest when it came to your accomplishements.

And I remember our last conversation. Fortunately, it lasted for six hours. On April 5, 2007 we rode the bus together from Baguio to Sagada. We talked and laughed all the way. We talked about guys and Peace Corps and our trip around Southeast Asia and we even made plans for me to come visit you in New York next October. You said you would cook for me. You loved to cook.

It's just so hard to believe that you are gone. I know that your spirit will live on within each of us who knew and love you, though. Forever.

Kelly and I have decided to go ahead with our trip. . . the trip that the three of us were planning to take together. You spent so much time researching and planning . . . it's suppose to be all three of us together. We made plans. But plans sometimes change. Nothing is for certain. Not even best-laid plans. Kelly and I both know that you would want us to go ahead with the trip. It won't be the same without you, but we will carry you with us in our hearts and on our lips.

I love you, girl. I miss you. And I will never forget you and all the good times we had together.

In loving memory of Julia Campbell
January 1967 - April 2007

Missing PCV

2007-04-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. You may have read in the news that a volunteer is missing in the Philippines. It is true and we are all very concerned and upset. Please pray for Julia and her family. She is my friend. In fact, we have been planning a trip together around SE Asia after our service ends June 1.

I believe that Peace Corps Philippines, Washington, the US Embassy, and the local authorities are all working together to do a thorough search. It's just really frightening and worrisome. I just ask all of you who believe in the power of prayer to pray . . and those who have other means of sending positive power this way . . please do.

Just know that I'm alright physically. Just really disheartened and concerned about my friend.

Take care and stay safe.

My Post PC Plan

2007-03-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

Since my time here is rapidly drawing to a close, naturally I have been giving thought to what's next. I admit this daunting question has haunted the back of my mind for two years now. It's only recently that I have recognized what career I'm most interested in pursuing.

After pondering and ruminating my future, I finally asked myself what part of my Peace Corps service have I enjoyed the most. The answer rang out loud and clear in my heart and head. Teaching! I love the interaction with the students. I love watching the light bulbs turn on. I love watching them grow. I love seeing them come out of their shells. It's joy to me. And I love the age I've been teaching here . . the equivalent of middle schoolers, although here, because there are only ten years of school, they are first year high school.

So, I started researching what would be the best path for me to pursue making this desire a reality. I located a program in New Mexico that offers its students teaching certification and a MAT (Master of Arts in Teaching) while they teach at a school fulltime. Peace Corps also has a fellowship program (which reduces tuition significantly) at this school that returned volunteers can apply for. So, as of right now, I'm planning to apply to that school and for that fellowship and, hopefully, get accepted.

But what about before that? What about my short term plans? Well, my service ends the first of June. I'm planning to travel with a couple other girls around SE Asia for a month or two and then head back to the US. I am committed to being home in time to celebrate my Abram's 3rd birthday with him on August 5. Although, I may get back earlier than that . . it won't be any later, that's a promise!

So, today as I sat in my room pondering, I came up with some short range, mid range, and long range goals. What the heck . . I'll share. And remember . . I absolutely ALWAYS reserve the right to change my mind!

Short range:
complete PC service, travel around SE Asia, be home by Aug 1, 2007

Mid range:
2007
September: Submit applications to WNMU and PC Fellowship
2008
January: Get accepted into above mentioned programs
June: Move to New Mexico and get hired at a high school
August: Begin teaching. Continue learning. Begin MAT classes.
2009
August (or before): Pass exams and acquire teaching certification
2011
May: Complete MAT - Consider relocating

Long range - 2015 - 2025:
Living and teaching somewhere beautiful
Serving people
Surrounded with a circle of close friends - and hopefully family
Traveling to see kids and grandkids regularly
Life filled with all the love and comforts I need

2025: Consider retiring

And beyond:
20+ years of travel, love, laughter, witnessing and sharing my kids and grandkids lives

In addition to reserving the right to change my mind . . . I also reserve the right to be an idealist.

Why not?

This world is full of enough fear, depression, regret, negativity . . . I want to be one who generates a positive balance to some of the negativity.

Class Completion Ceremony

2007-02-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

Today was the Extra Challenge English Class 2006-2007 Completion Ceremony at my school and I just want to say . . . my students are AWESOME! I am so proud of them. They showed up and gave 100%. They memorized parts, faced the audience, spoke loudly . . . basically everything I asked them to do that they weren't doing during practice yesterday!

This is a brief synopsis of our simple program . . .

Two students (a boy-R, and a girl-H) were our emcees. They opened the program by welcoming the parents and guests and announcing that a fellow student, B, would lead us in the opening prayer. B led the group in saying "Our Father". Following the prayer, H introduced the school principal, Sir C, who gave a formal welcome and opening remarks.

Following the principal's (snoozer of a) speech, R announced that the class would present an "intermission" (the term used here for the entertainment numbers in programs). For their first intermission the students adpated a story they had read in class into a short play . . "The Giving Tree". We made props (tree trunk, branches, and apples) and hung a curtain creating a makeshift stage in the science lab where we held our classes and our program. In between each of the five story "events", they closed the curtain and switched out characters so that all of the students would have speaking parts. They did a great job.

Next, H announced that Ma'am Tracy would introduce our guest speaker. I had invited my PC supervisor to attend the program. Since she agreed to come, I asked her to give a few words of encouragement to the students (which was billed as "Inspirational Talk" in our Program). I introduced Mrs. B and she did not disappoint. She encouraged and inspired the students and parents alike. Thanks Nellie!

R then announced that the next intermission would be a poem, "One Red Apple", performed by the class. Those who were not characters in the poem stood behind the actors and spoke several intermittent lines in unison. There were 4 characters in the poem: Red Apple, Green Apple, Yellow Apple, and Johnny. The gist of the poem is: Red apple looks around and finds a "green thing" who claims to be an apple. Red apple informs "green" that he can't be an apple because he's GREEN - not red. Green apple cries. Same thing happens with yellow apple. Then Johnny comes along and sets them all straight. He tells them they are all apples no matter what color their skin, because they all have a "star within".

The "apples" wore large colored apples pinned on their front - at the end they all opened the apples and showed their stars inside . . they were all special - and they were all alike. It was sweet and they did a great job.

After this presentation, H announced that we would have the Certificate Distribution. And so we announced each student's name and they came to the front, accompanied by their parents, and received their certificate and grade card and shook hands with the principal, guest speaker, and teachers.

The final intermission was a song. They sang "I Have a Dream". The words were appropriate and heart-warming and the parents really enjoyed hearing them sing. It was nice.

Following the last intermission, R announced that the closing remarks would be given by (yours truly) Ma'am Tracy Henning. And so I did. I thanked principal and guest speaker, congratulated parents, and then addressed each of the students individually. I told them which adjectives I thought of first whenever I thought of them. By the smiles on their faces, I could tell that they enjoyed hearing how special they are to me. I didn't break down and boohoo, but my voice did crack a couple times and I got teary-eyed. But I recovered (it's not culturally acceptable to cry in public here, but what the heck . . I'm American!)

After my closing remarks, H announced that another student, N, would say the closing prayer. She came to the front of the class and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the class, parents, and teachers. I felt the love.

And so it went.

As I see it, the class and the program were both a success. It was nice to honor the students and let them see just how special they are to me and many others. They have all made permanent imprints on my heart . . . and for this, I am very thankful.

Some good advice . . .

2006-12-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

Recently I discovered that all of my US cash stash had been stolen from its hiding place in my room. Oct 1 was the last time I counted the money and tucked it away. Needless to say I was bummed . . . especially in light of my upcoming trip.

I told my host sister as soon as she got home. She said there was no way of knowing who took it. Many people have access to this house and my room wasn’t always locked. She told me, though, that there is a lady who “sees” things and who may be able to give us some clues as to who took it. She said she would check with the teachers at her school and find out if the lady, who lives in another baranguay, still sees people. I told her I’m open to all available help.

Two days later when I got home from school around 5:30, my host sister told me that her husband came home early to drive us to Taba-ao to see the woman. She said, “Take your coffee first while I’m cooking the rice. Then we will go.” So I fixed my coffee and took about three sips. “Time to go.” So we went.

My host brother drove his new used jeepney. In the back were my host sister and her 3 yr-old daughter, my host sister’s twin sister and her 5 yr-old son and 9 year-old daughter, and me. We also picked up and gave a ride to a couple of the teacher’s who had attended my class earlier and were walking home.

The road to the lady’s place is a long winding rocky dirt road that leads away from Baguio. We drove about 30 minutes before we reached her place. It was dark when we arrived and we parked on a bridge. Our crew climbed out the back of the jeepney and my host sister pointed to the light at the top of the hill, which was the school where the woman teaches and lives in the cottage. We would be climbing up dark stairs. I pulled out my cell phone and once again thanked the gods for its trusty built-in flashlight –which has truly been a godsend in this country!

As promised, the woman and her co-teacher housemate were at home. They occupy the little three-room wood and tin guesthouse, since they both live in Baguio and commute home on the weekends. Maam “see-er” directed us where to sit. I sat across from her and recounted to her the facts of the case as I know them. She listened and then she spoke in a broken mixture of Ilokano and English. She showed no signs of doubt or hesitation when she announced that a young man in his 20s took the money. He’s not a criminal or a regular thief. He was tempted because he “knew” that the American had money. Since he was able to get into my room, he searched until he found my cash. However, now he feels guilty and no longer looks me in the eye.

Then she told me what to do, which made perfect sense and was exactly what I needed to hear. She said, “Forgive him and lock your door”. OK. Yes. That’s it.
Simple wisdom.
Sound advice.
Nice.

The Burial

2006-11-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

07 Nov 06

Under the large weathered tarp tied to a corrugated tin roof supported by bamboo poles and decaying wooden beams, the stiff corpse of the 76 year old man lies in the pine box. The priest is saying mass in Ilokano and condemning the men at the funeral for gambling. “You might forget and gamble away your wife!” he warns. As the crowd patiently listens and mechanically responds to all the Catholic rituals, several short haired, mangy looking mongrels weave their way through the people both inside and outside of the open-doored house.

Standing outside under the slim shadow of the roof’s overhang, I can hear the laughing children just inside the house, running and playing games, unaware of the grave ceremony transpiring just a few meters away. I am struck by the natural beauty of the tropical greenery providing a living backdrop for this solemn occasion of death. I look down and notice feet. . . the majority of which are sporting slippers (thongs). Some are muddy, for they have trudged through mountains and muck to be here. Most of the toenails, on both men and women, have been manicured into long points, appearing more as claws to me than my western concept of nice toenails allows. But to the people here they are beautiful, and my blunt, broad nails are a source of snickers.

My, this priest has a lot to say. When will this be over? I am dripping with sweat. Fortunately, I brought my folding fan, which lends a little relief from the heat. One more song . . . Oh, I know this one . . . Amazing Grace how sweet the sound . . . I’ve always enjoyed singing this song, and I know all the verses. Yes! Oh . . . wait a minute . . . what’s this verse? Hmm. Oh yeah, I remember now. Back in our place we use to sing the 1st, 2nd, and last verses only. In the Philippines we sing every single verse and often repeat the first verse and then the last two lines of it! How ironic. Here, in the land where people love “shortcuts” –they shortcut everything except for song lyrics . . . and those they extend. How Filipinos love, love, love to sing!

But I digress.

So the mass seems to be over. We’re moving now. The teachers are pssting me to follow them down the hill. . . Ah, here we are on the side of the hill. We have a front row view of the freshly constructed concrete tomb, which must be placed where the head of the dead faces the morning sun. . . Never mind the ants climbing up our feet and legs. Let's sing another song. “Nearer my God to thee . . .”

Here come the men carrying the pine coffin. The lid is on and secured with a wooden peg sticking up out of the top. They’re setting it down and removing the lid. A long-haired man takes a white ball cap and places it on the head of the dead man. The priest says a few more words and now another older man is reading something about God (Apo) in Ilokano, probably some scriptures. He finishes and a man removes the ball cap from the dead man and wraps his head and face in the special burial blanket (white with a blue stripe). They place the ball cap on his chest and replace the lid of the pine box.

Time to close the box for good. Now they take wooden nails and hammer them into six holes on the corners and ends of the coffin. They hammer one long peg down a ways and then break it off and move it to the next hole and repeat the motion. One long nail works for three holes. I was told yesterday that the coffin is built using only wooden nails so that it will completely decompose along with the body.

The priest sprinkles water on the coffin, on top of the tomb, and inside the tomb. He hands the water bottle to the older man who read the passage earlier and has him repeat the sprinkles in all the same places. The ten men now pick up the coffin and maneuver it into the tomb. This is no easy feat, as the opening of the tomb is on the edge of a drop off and there is a ladder down the side of the mountain in front of it. But they manage deftly. Clearly these Igorots (mountain people) have spent their lives negotiating the ups and downs of this place.

As soon as the box is placed inside the open tomb, two men dump two bags of dirt and a bag of concrete out on the ground in the very spot where the coffin had laid. Two others grab shovels and begin mixing, and here come two more men with two buckets of water. They pour the water into the bowl-shaped mound and the men with shovels mix, mix, mix until the cement is the perfect consistency. Two other men place hollow concrete blocks in the opening of the tomb, and the master mason covers the blocks with the cold, wet cement, working it into all the cracks until at last it is smooth and complete.

And thus, the dead is laid to rest. His final bed is made.

Now, it’s time to eat.

October already . . . my favorite month

2006-10-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

Aah . . . October. Historically, it's my favorite month. Not because it's my birth month, but because of the crisp air and beauty of the colorful changing leaves. As usual, everything is different here. Even though we don't currently have crisp air and never have colorful leaves here, I couldn't avoid having another darn birthday.

It was okay, though. The kids in my Student Library Club had a surprise party for me. They made a beautiful card which they all signed, a birthday banner, and they prepared snacks. Two of the girls came to the library and asked me if I would take a "stroll" with them around the campus. While we were out, the others prepared the banner and snacks in the library. When we went back, they were all there to greet me and sing happy birthday. It was sweet. The funny thing was that they did it on the wrong day! They did it the day before (just because they thought it was the 4th not the 5th). It somehow made it better, because I could still deny that it was my birthday. The next day, my actual birthday, I went to Baguio and spent the day. I didn't tell my host family that it was my birthday, so I was able to avoid all the hype. Besides, the tradition here is that the birthday person is the one who buys the food and treats everyone else. So, as you can imagine, birthdays can be really expensive!

A lot has been going on since I last posted. I have been working hard to prepare for two classes that I will begin teaching in November. Beginning on the 6th, I will teach an after-school English class to 1st year high school students. We will meet on Mondays and Tuesdays. Starting on Wednesday, Nov 8th, I will be teaching an after-school English class for teachers. It will be opened to the teachers and principal at my school and to the teachers and admin from the elementary school across the street. I plan to teach both classes through February, so that will keep me at site for a while.

That's why it's good that I have some upcoming travel plans before those classes begin. I will be leaving on Oct 11 to head down to Manila. On the 12th, I will fly to Bohol for a UNICEF funded Teacher Training, where I get to be a presenter. That will be Oct 12-18. Then I will fly back to Manila for a few days and then I'll fly to Palawan, where I will help some other PCVs with Teacher Training Seminars that we will present at two different schools. That will be Oct 22-26. I'm looking forward to both trainings, especially the one on Palawan because I haven't seen that place yet . . . and I hear it's nice :-)

As far as homelife goes, things have been much nicer at site lately. My host sister and I finally had a heart-to-heart talk about our language and cultural differences. We honestly shared our feelings and figured out a way to co-exist respectfully and even enjoy each others' company. Of course, we had both made some assumptions about each other that simply weren't true. I felt very relieved after talking with her and I've been making a point of eating dinner and watching "Deal or No Deal" (Filipino version, of course) with her and Benson and Furnee every evening. It is a good way to interact and enjoy something together that we can all understand. It's been working out well.

School life is good, too. As I said before, I've been staying pretty busy there - and that's always nice. My principal is supportive in words, but not so much in his actions. Supposedly there are absolutely NO funds available to purchase supplies for my classes. Oh well. Guess its good that I'm a "rich American" volunteer. Ha! I can buy my own supplies . . . no problem! :-/

Well, like I said before, it's October. Here, that means that we are well into the "BER" months, which means Christmas music can be heard playing on the radio most days. Which makes me think of the holidays, of course. Which reminds me . . . that this year I'm planning to travel to Malaysia and Singapore with two PCV friends for Christmas. We're planning to fly out on Dec 25 and return Jan 3. I figured one Christmas and New Year in Kapangan, Benguet is enough. I'm looking forward to seeing how Christmas and New Year is spent in another part of Asia. And hopefully, it will help me get through the holiday doldrums and sorrow that I feel because of not being with my family and friends back home.

Okay, so I have to close for now. Hope all of you are doing well and remembering to enjoy every little part of every single day. Take care and keep in touch!

This 'n That

2006-08-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, time for another update. What have I been up to lately? As I mentioned last month, my counterpart and I went to a Project Design and Management conference in Los Banos, Laguna a couple weeks ago. It turned out to be the most useful conference I've attended thus far. The information was all about how to design and write a project from start to finish - useful stuff. The outcome for my counterpart and me is that we're going to start a library club at school. Should be fun and will give us a core group of students to train in the new classification system and help to promote reading and all the new books we've acquired.

So, as I was sitting here typing this blog I just got a phone call. Looks like I'm going to be a Resource Volunteer for batch 265 PST2 (pre-service training). I'm scheduled to teach a session on Remedial English for the Non-Reader. Woohoo. That will be Sept. 11 in Tagaytay, Cavite (which is close to Manila). Never know what's gonna happen next!

Back to the blog and what's been going on here . . . Last weekend I went to Sagada to celebrate some birthdays with other volunteers. I figured since Saturday was Tanner's bday that I should celebrate. I mean, I did "give birth" . . . so what the heck? That's a "birth"day of sorts! Anyway, we had a lot of fun. Good food. Good friends. A bit of beer. And a lot of laughter. Good times.

It is rainy season now and it rains pretty much every single day . . . but not til the afternoons usually. I knew that I enjoyed rainy days before I came here, but I have discovered after living in a country with a "rainy" season, that I really DO love the rain. The Filipinos think I'm crazy, but I still get a warm, cozy feeling every time it starts raining. Yes, it's a hastle to travel in sometimes. And I'm really irritated 'cuz I left my umbrella in Mt. Province last weekend. But overall, I love the rain. And besides, when it rains at night, the roosters and dogs are a lot less noisy and that's always a plus!

Oh, speaking of roosters and dogs. We have a new animal edition to the cacophony of noise I awake to outside my window every morning. It's pigs! Pigs, pigs, pigs. Grunting, squealing, pigs. Did you know that there are sounds that pigs make that are almost identical to some sounds that roosters make? I didn't either, but it's true. They do. It's a low-range squealing noise . . . Oh the things I'm learning in the Peace Corps. Only in the Philippines . . .

Okay, guess I'll close for now. Take care and be safe. Love to all *MUAH* (that's a big kiss:-)

Finally . . . an update

2006-07-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Seems that the time between my blogs just keeps getting longer and longer . . . I'm not really sure why, but it probably has something to do with the fact that life here has somehow normalized for me and not many things stand out as blog-worthy. Whatever, whyever, it doesn't really matter. But I talked to Sommer and she said, "Mom, your last blog entry was June 8. Write something already!"

So here I am. Sitting in an internet place in Baguio City. It's about 12:30 pm. Just got off a bus from Manila which only took 6 hours today. Will take a jeepney back to site at 2 pm.

I was in Manila the past week for our Mid-service Conference. The conference was a real drag, but it was really great getting to see the other volunteers. We had the opportunity to see the volunteers that were posted in the Visayas (southern islands) and we had not seen them since our first week in country. It was a pleasant surprise to find it so comfortable to reunite with people we barely knew. I guess we were able to enjoy and feel comfortable together due to this past year as PCVs in the Philippines. Even tho' we each had separate and unique experiences, the overall cultural experience has been very similar.

I will spend the next week at site and then the following week will be traveling back to the Manila area with my counterpart for another conference. It is one where we get project-design guidance and the opportunity to work side-by-side with our counterparts designing our own projects. I am taking my librarian counterpart. It should be a worthwhile conference. If nothing else, it gives my counterpart a free vacation and she will love me for that!

As far as work goes, I have begun cataloging the library. And I will start teaching the Extra Challenge English Class at the beginning of September. It really WILL be an extra challenge if it turns out the way it looks like it's going to. Instead of having 30 chosen students this year. I'll be teaching ALL (100) of the first year students. There are 50 in each section, so I will teach 50 on Monday after school and 50 on Tuesday. Well, of course they won't all show up, but it will definitely be a larger group than last year. But I'm looking forward to it. I just hope I can learn all their names before the end of the school year!

What else? . . . As far as the host family situation goes. Well, it's going. We have a new house-helper. She's a 28 year old girl from Buguias (another municipality where they speak Kankanaey). She's nice enough to me. She doesn't cook as well as Shareen did, nor is she funny like Shareen was, but she's fine. I'm paying her to do my laundry, so it's nice not to have to wash my own clothes right now.

Oh, last week while I was in Manila there was a level three typhoon at my site. No one was hurt, but school was out for three days and there was a landslide that blocked the road from Kapangan to Baguio City. How exciting! It was raining like crazy in Manila and there were floods there, but no big troubles.

Well, I can't think of anything else so I'll close for now. Take care and email when you can! Seems the less I blog, the less people write to me. I'm thinking there's probably a direct corrolation. :-) Oh well . . . we do the best we can. Love to all.

Reality Check?

2006-06-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

Spent more than a month away from my site, during which most of the time I had full access to hot showers, washers and dryers (or affordable laundry services), and flush toilets. Now I’m back in Kapangan and am wondering what the heck actually constitutes the “real world”. Washed every stitch of my dirty vacation clothes by hand. By HAND. And hung them out to dry.

Peace Corps . . . it’s life in another rhythm. And I like it. Even though I hate it sometimes. I like it more than I hate it. And that’s why I’ve decided to stay.

Some of you know that I’ve been thinking of early termination (et-ing) from the Peace Corps and moving to Thailand to teach for the next year. While teaching in Thailand still intrigues and entices me, I have decided to stay here in the Philippines for the next year and finish what I began. I am proud to be a part of this organization. And I truly want to be the best impression of America that I can be.

Also, I realized a couple things recently that really helped me make my choice. I realized that I have spent a huge part of my life being afraid to try . . . and fail. In fact, to try and fail is probably one of the scariest propositions I could imagine. And yet, I have tried and failed at some stuff since I’ve been here. And I’m still here and I’m okay. So what the heck? I’m going to try . . . and see what happens. I will do my best. (As my Filipino friends say) come what may.

The other thing I realized is that I have spent most of my life worrying and making choices based on what [I think] other people think. But . . . that’s not working out for me very well these days. So I’ve decided to change this strategy. Here’s the plan: I’m done with worrying about what [I think] other people think. I am going to do what feels right to me . . . not live my life worrying about what everyone else thinks I should do. It is impossible to please everybody anyway. And at the end of the day, I am really the one whose approval I need to be happy.

And with these couple of paradigm shifts my life at site feels much better than it felt before I left on vacation. Like things look brighter and feel lighter.

I also know that going home and seeing my people really gave me the boost I needed to be able to carry on. It was just so darn good to hug and squeeze and giggle and play with my baby Abey and to . . hehehe . . hug and squeeze and giggle and play with the rest of you guys! I cherish every memory of every minute :-) of that trip.

So enough. That’s enough for now. I’m here and happy and hoping for a busy, productive, and satisfying second year of this Peace Corps experience. Love to all. Take care. And God bless.

Back in the 'Pines

2006-05-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

My trip home was better than I had even hoped . . . just not long enough! I really enjoyed being back in the states and hanging out with family and friends. I especially loved playing with my baby Abey! I think the biggest "culture shock" I felt back in the states came when I was driving on I-40 to go visit Elanor and Gary. I noticed that people kept passing me. To me they seemed to be flying. I looked down at my speedometer and realized I was going a little less than 50 mph! Hello. It made me realize just how slow paced life really is here. In the Philippines I am rarely in a vehicle moving more than 35 or 40 mph . . . and usually they are going even slower than that! I must admit though, by the time I left I was once again use to the fast-pace of America and speeding with the best of them!

Thanks to all of you who made me feel so loved. And for those of you that I didn't get to see . . . Sorry we weren't able to connect this trip. Another day . . . another time.

When I returned to the Philippines I met up with three other volunteers and we took a little 3-day trip to the island of Bohol. There we saw the Chocolate Hills, a mangrove forest, and the world's smallest primates: the Tarsiers. After that little mini-vaca, we took a super ferry back to Cebu City, Cebu to participate in Tudlo Mindanao (a teacher-training seminar for teachers from Mindanao). The training went really well and I had an excellent time there. I think it was my favorite PCV experience yet. I really enjoyed presenting and being with other PCVs as well as meeting a lot of teachers from Mindanao. It was nice to see a mixture of Muslim and Christian teachers and to observe how they interact. We were in Cebu for a little over one week.

We took a 6 am flight to Manila on May 28 and on the 29th I had a dental appointment (teeth cleaned - no cavities :-) Right now I'm in Laoag, Illocos Norte at Tom Peng's site. I came here with Lubna and Tom to celebrate Tom's birthday with him. I'll go back to Baguio on June 1 and probably get back to site on June2.

I have been away from site for over a month and I wish I could say that I am really anxious to get back. That's not so much the way I feel. However, I'm going to go back refreshed from my visit home and hopefully things will be better than I expect. We'll see.

I will close for now. Just wanted to post an update that I made it back and I'm safe and sound. It's time to go eat lunch, and as usual . . . I'm starving :-) Take care and know you're in my thoughts.

Homesick and Ready

2006-04-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's weird how I can be feeling this homesick after being here for an entire year. I'm sure that one big reason is because now that school is out, I'm at a loss of things to do with myself during the days. I have been spending a lot of time in my room - secluded - and that's not good. It's like a downward spiral. The more I shut myself off from the outside world - the more I feel like an outsider. The more I feel like an outsider - the less I want to go out. It really sucks. I'm counting on my visit home to provide me with all the loving support I need to come back and make it through my last year here.

I'm just so happy that I'll be coming home to visit VERY SOON! I can't wait to see you all.

It seems that I should have more to post since I haven't posted in almost a month. It's just that I'm not feeling very fond of my current situation and I don't want to write anything I might regret later. I'm pretty sure you understand.

It's all going to be alright. I just need to come home and get some hugs and be reminded that there are people who love and accept me just as I am. And that I'm not really as old as I feel somedays. And that not everyone on the planet speaks five languages fluently.

Enough now. I have said enough. Counting the days and looking forward to being home shortly. Love to all and see you soon!

One Year Already!

2006-04-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

I know some of you have been wondering if I'm ever going to blog again. Yes . . . I've just been super busy and away from internet a lot.

So . . . I can't believe we have been in this country for an entire year as of April 1! It never ceases to amaze me how long the days can feel but how fast the time goes by. I'm pretty sure the second year will whiz by even faster. So, I just want to say Congrats to all my PC friends who read this blog . . . way to survive and even thrive!

Right now I'm in Manila at the PC offices. I just got off a bus from Baguio and have a few hours here before I catch a plane to Cebu. I am on my way to the Tudlo Mindanao pre-training for a national teacher training workshop that will be held in Cebu the last week of May. I will be working with two teachers from Mindanao at this workshop and we will be writing presentations to present at the workshop in May. I'm looking forward to it because it sounds fun and challenging.

Last Friday was graduation at the high school where I work. Thankfully, I didn't have to give any speeches! All I had to do was create the program and hang about 13 medals around the neck of the valedictorian. Piece of cake. The graduation was a "simple ceremony" compared to others they have had in the past. It was held outside at 9:00 am. After the graduation, the guests and faculty had lunch in the Home-ec room. It turned out to be a nice ceremony and delicious food. Short and sweet. Sometimes simple is a very good thing.

After the graduation lunch, I packed my bag and went to Baguio to meet the new batch of Peace Corps trainees in Northern Luzon. I attended their welcome dinner and got to visit with all 13 of them. The next day, my friend Tom and I did a presentation on American Diversity. It was fun and the trainees seemed to enjoy it. It's good to know that we have a new group of volunteers who will get to their sites in early June, especially since the volunteers from the batch before us are leaving now. Most of the new people are very young (early 20s). None are very near my age. And one is older (60s). It seems like a very good group, though, and I'm excited to get to know them better.

As far as homelife goes, I am sad to say that there have been some changes recently. Shareen, my friend who has lived with us, cooked, cleaned, kept Anne-Furnee, washed my laundry and just been a wonderful Godsend because she has kept me laughing and spoken English with me the entire time . . . has moved back to her home in Ifugao. I will miss her terribly. She left on Thursday. On Sunday, Bin-Bin, the boy who has been living with us for the past year also moved back to be with his mom and siblings in La Trinidad. I will miss him, too. The dynamics around our house are really changing right now and I don't like the changes, but it's how it is. I will adjust . . . as I hand-wash my own laundry . . . :-\.

Take care and keep in touch and I will try to blog a little more often . . . but am not making any promises! Love to all.

Third times a charm . . .

2006-03-02T19:13:00.006-08:00

So this week I wrote a newsy blog at home . . . but didn't get it copied to my memory stick. Then yesterday I was here at internet, wrote yet another blog and as I was about to post it, Windows decided to shut down, so all was lost. So, here I go again - and keepin' it short . . .

Probably the best thing that's happened with me this past week is that I've had a mental shift and have amazingly began to start learning my target language. Not sure of what all the factors in my mental shift are, but I will share this one thing. I was visiting with a couple ladies in the community last week and one said to me, "Anyone who really cares to learn our language can learn it." I thought about that a lot after I left her. I asked myself, "Do I really care?" The answer that came to my mind was "Yes, I care, but that's not what I've been focusing on as I've tried to learn the language". What I have been focusing on is that I need to learn so that the people in my community will accept me. In other words, I've been feeling pressured to learn for other people. This week, I made a mental shift and have started studying language ONLY because I want to . . . because I care. I want to learn so that I can interact with more people in my community. And strangely enough, I've made real progress. That's it.

So . . . this is what I realized: My target language is Kankanaey - Kan - Kan - AEY . . . Can-Can-I. So, if I just make a little shift . . . it becomes I CAN CAN. Works for me!

As for my upcoming schedule. . . it looks like I will be involved in a seminar in Cebu the last week of May, so I am looking at coming home after it is over. Tentatively, I am looking at leaving Manila on May 28 or 29 and staying in the U.S. until June 16 or 17. If any of you know of good deals on plane tickets or websites that I should check out to find good deals . . . please let me know!

I guess that's it for now. Gotta run. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down

2006-02-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the internet place in Center Mall in Baguio City. Just got a haircut and can still feel the shorthairs on my neck and down the back of my shirt. I went to, yet again, a different beauty salon in search of a good haircut. This one appears to be okay . . . but the true test will come in the morning when I wash and comb it. It was a razor cut this time. Interesting. We'll see.

It's hard to believe it has been almost a month since I last updated this blog! I have been incredibly busy so that makes time really whiz by. My primary project, the reading remediation program, is winding up so I've been busy finishing modules for that. March 7th will be our completion celebration. We will have a short program where the students will sing a song for their parents, my co-teacher and I will sing the praises of the kids and parents, we will hand out certificates of completion and the student's final evaluation cards. Hopefully, it will all go well. I will also need to compile all the modules into a binder and write a final report for the Division Office at the DepEd and submit it so they can determine if they want to share the modules with other schools.

The other thing that has had me busy the last two weeks is preparing a presentation for a Teacher Training Seminar that I am going to participate in. The seminar will be in Bicol, the southern most part of a peninsula off the island of Luzon. And it isn't until the end of April, but the due date to submit our presentations is tomorrow. So, this past Thursday I went to Manila to work on my presentation in the Peace Corps office on Friday and Saturday. I was able to complete it, so I felt SO productive. Woohoo!

I am also hoping to participate in another Teacher Training Seminar called Tudlo Mindonao where teachers from Mindonao go to Cebu City for a two-day workshop. I have applied to be a presenter at that T.O.T. but haven't heard if I am invited yet. If I get to do that, I will be traveling to Cebu City in early April for a training and again in late May for the seminar. Which means that my trip home would be pushed back to the end of May.

In June there is another training. This one I will attend with my counterpart and we will design another project. I will take the librarian from our school to that together we can design our library development project. That will be my focus for next school year. I don't know the dates on that training yet, so that could also affect my trip home. The bottom line is, I just don't know yet WHEN I will be coming home for a visit . . . only that I WILL be there as soon as I can!

I miss everyone so much. But I am adjusting to life here, slowly but surely. It's hard to believe that I have been here for 10 and a half months . . . that's almost one year!

Last Thursday when I went to Manila, it really hit me. "I am adapting to this place and learning how to get around on my own!" This was how my Thursday went: I got up that morning and took a jeepney into Baguio (two hours). Then I walked to the Victory Liner bus station and boarded a bus to Pasay City, Manila. That was a seven hour ride. When I arrived in Manila, I walked several blocks to the LRT (which I had ridden before, but never alone). I had to ask for directions, but I made it. I rode the LRT to a street in the area of where I was going to stay. Then I deboarded and walked about a mile to the Pension Natividad, where I checked in. I went to the dorm, put my things down, rested for about 30 minutes and walked to the mall. I decided to see what movies were playing, so I walked to the top floor, checked the signs and decided to see "Munich". I went to the counter to purchase my ticket and ran into three other Peace Corps Volunteers who were in town for a meeting. One I knew and two I got to meet for the first time. We all went to the movie together and walked back to the pension together afterwards. It was a good day. Ten months ago the thought of going to Manila on my own and not taking a taxi was terrifying. Now I've done it. No biggie. Life is good.

Well, it's time to go catch my jeepney back to Kapangan. Next week is our baranguay fiesta in Central, Kapangan, so I will be introducing the guest speaker . . . the mayor of La Trinidad. Wish me luck. They told me I can speak English, so I should be okay . . . whew!

Take care and please send some emails! Biglove to you all. xoxo

General Update

2006-01-18T17:58:00.000-08:00

I thought you might enjoy an update on what is going on in a few different areas of my life. So here goes . . .

Work: Big change here. You may remember our principal, Mrs. Aurora Leon, who lost her son last November. Last week she was informed of her transfer to Regional Science and Math High School in La Trinidad, Benguet . . . effective immediately! So, here it is less than three months before graduation and she’s transferred. It’s a promotion for her but my goodness . . . talk about overwhelming life changes! Yesterday was her last day at our school; it was heart wrenching. She cried. We cried. She said, “It feels like everything I love is being taken away all at once” (first, her baby and now the school that she started six years ago). God must have big plans for her.

Her replacement until the end of May is the head English teacher, Mrs. Jane Ngolab. DepEd assigned her as Teacher-in-Charge. This means she will handle all the Principal’s duties (a full-time job) plus teach all her classes (a full load). And here’s the kicker . . . she gets NO EXTRA COMPENSATION. And a little aside, she’s pregnant!

As for me, I’m working hard and enjoying it. I love teaching the remediation class twice a week. The students are shy by nature and polite by school indoctrination, but they are opening up and talking more all the time. I’m enamored with them. Next week, we will be having a meeting with the parents to hand out evaluation cards and let them view their students’ work and ask questions – a group parent/teacher conference . . . and I’m playing the part of a teacher –Yikes!

I have one more module to write for now. Then I will revise some of the early ones and compile them into a binder, prepare a report on our pilot class, and submit it to the Division Office where it will be made available to other schools in Benguet. Sounds good anyway. We’ll see.

Peace Corps: This week I went with my Regional Manager to assess a couple potential sites in my area for a new volunteer. One was a high school and it doesn’t look like they will get a volunteer. The other site was the Mayor’s office here in Kapangan. A volunteer may get assigned there. That means that come next June, I might have a site mate. I hope it happens. It could be fun to have another American to share this fishbowl with!

Host home: The biggest change on this front is that I had a bookshelf built for my room. A local furniture maker built it out of pine. It’s beautiful and gives me room for all my books, movies, toiletries, etc. It’s funny how much a 4’x6’ shelf can enhance the quality of life in an 8’x10’ room. I’m lovin’ it!

Attitude: Best change of all. I finally got tired of feeling bummed out. I realized that this period of my life is very temporary and will soon end. If I spend my time here feeling sad about all that I’m missing, I will be filled with regrets when it’s over because I missed the unique joy of this experience . . . AND missed everything at home! So, my new year’s intention is to fully experience and appreciate this time . . . so that I will have happy stories to share! And I’m pleased to report that I’m feeling much happier :-).

Naragsak ay biag ya pipiyan da kayo!
(Happy life and love to all of you!)

Lost Blog

2006-01-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2006

2006-01-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

So here it is 2006 and I have been in the Philippines for nine months now. I find that I am still grateful for this experience, but have been going through the most intense sense of missing my family and friends that I have felt since I've been here.

I just gotta say . . . the holidays are really a tough time to be away from home.

But I made it through and even had some fun in the midst of it and am feeling better everyday.

I had language camp in La Trinidad from Dec 12-16. On Dec 17th my friend, Tom, and I took a bus and headed back to Nueva Vizcaya to visit our first host families. We were trying to get there early because my host family had told me that they were leaving for Manila on the 18th, so I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. On the way to NV, our bus broke down THREE times! Finally, the last time it broke down, we were close enough to catch a jeep into Solano (our destination), so that's what we did. In Solano we stopped in Bread and Bites to get something to eat. I heard someone knocking on the glass window behind me. I turned around and saw my old host brother. I went outside and the entire host family came walking up. Of course, I was happy to see them . . . I assumed they were excited to see me, too, and had just come to town to check to see if I had arrived yet. Turns out, they were actually on their way to Manila! They decided to leave a day early because they realized the letters on their vehicle tags were coded so that they wouldn't be allowed to drive in Manila on Monday - and they needed to do some things as soon as they arrived - so they needed to go a day early. (The traffic is so bad here that the major cities have restrictions on what days certain vehicles are allowed to drive, according to their tags). So . . . turns out, I saw them for all of 10 minutes and then they were off! Fortunately, I was able to stay with Peyton, another PCV friend of mine who lives in Solano with her host family.

The next day was Sunday, so I went to church with Peyton. Then, that afternoon Tom and I took a jeepney to Lagawe, Ifugao. That's a town near Banaue, where the world famous rice terraces are. We stayed with Amber, a PCV who is posted in Lagawe. She cooked spaghetti and we watched a movie (Dodge Ball) on her computer. Good food and fun. Nice.

Monday morning Tom and I packed our toothbrushes and extra t-shirts into one backpack and took a jeepney to Banaue. There, we met a young married couple from Denver. Together with them, we hiked up and over a mountain into a village called Batad, built in the midst of a rice terrace. There is no electricity there and many of the homes are native nuts. The village is beautiful and because it is so remote, the pollution is minimal. The hike was about 9 km. We spent the night in a guest house where the people were friendly, the accomodations were adequate, and the price was right (100 pesos per night / 55p = $1). The next morning it was misting. Tom and I got up early (5:30) and hiked out. It was an exhilarating, beautiful way to begin the day.

We backtracked to Lagawe, picked up the rest of our stuff, took a bus to Bontoc. There we met up with Teri. She texted me as soon as I got into town and said "Be careful . . . Nellie is here!" Nellie is our PC Regional Manager and I was traveling on the down low (because I didn't want to use up any vacation days!) If I had gotten caught, I would have just been reprimanded and charged vacation days - but I didn't want that to happen. So . . . we had to find alternate transportation out of town (she told Teri she was taking the jeepney to Sagada - which is what WE WOULD have taken, had she not been there!) We hired a tricycle to take us to a junction where we waited for a bus to pass through. It's funny to think that here I am, 45 years old, and STILL bending the rules and trying not to get caught. Oh my!

The next three days we stayed with Teri in Besao, Mt. Province. Her site is beautiful and rural and pretty darn cold this time of year. One day we hiked from Besao to Segada. It's a nice hike up and over a mountain, through the pine trees. Mostly, we just hung out at Teri's place and ate and talked and read books and laughed and enjoyed being Americans and speaking English and making references to things in America that we all understood. It's the little things :-)

A couple days before Christmas Teri, Tom and I all went to Baguio. We spent the night and got up the next day and went to Kapangan. They stayed at my place Christmas eve and Christmas night. The first night we went to midnight mass . . . the church was packed and we had to sit on the front row. The next day my host family drove us up a mountain so that we could see a beautiful view of our municipality and La Union, the province next to Benguet. After that, we went back to the house and fixed dinner. We had chicken adobo and I made a big green salad with Italian dressing. We also had fresh green beans and mangoes. It was delicious. The rest of the day we just hung around the house, watched a movie on my computer and visitied with my host family.

The next day, the three of us went back to Baguio because Teri's little brother was coming to visit and was due to get into Baguio on the 27th. We ate good food in Baguio, listened to some music in a couple clubs, and watched HBO in our room. The next day we met Teri's brother at the bus station. Tom left for his site. I spent another night in Baguio with Teri and her brother. The next day I went back to Kapangan . . . and spent the next several days reading and relaxing.

New Year's Eve was pretty nice . . . we had a big dinner at our place and then had a gift exchange and played parlor games. After that, I went to the community dance with my host sister and her sister. We danced the "Grand March" and a few other dances and welcomed the new year by drinking coffee and eating pancit at midnight. There were a few small fireworks. We stayed and played until about 1:30.

So, here it is January 2, 2006. I am really ready to get back to work and get going on my projects. And I feel thankful . . . thankful for this experience . . . and for my family and friends . . . and thankful for the people here who are teaching me so much about another way of life. I hope all of you are doing well and have a satisfying and joy-filled year.

Naragsak ay Paskua en kayo (Happy Holidays to you all)

2005-12-15T03:22:00.000-08:00

So . . . this week I am here in LaTrinidad for language training camp. I'm pretty sure I have been learning some stuff, but right now I can't remember what any of it is. My language teacher here at the camp is a co-teacher at my school who I meet with most Sunday afternoons for language tutoring sessions. She is a sweety, but hasn't taught language before so we are both learning as we go.

We are staying on the campus of Benguet State University in dorms. I feel really fortunate to have a double room (2 twin beds) but no room mate and a private CR. Woohoo! It's the little things . . .

Tomorrow is the last day of language training. On Saturday morning I will be traveling about 7 hours by bus back to Nueva Vizcaya to visit my first host family. They are leaving for Manila on the 18th, so it will be a short visit with them. After that, I think I will be going to Ifugao and onto Mt. Province to visit some other volunteers. Teri (and possibly Tom) -- volunteers who were in my cluster during training-- will be coming with me back to my site for Christmas. That will be a good thing.

Everyone in Kapangan says that they don't have a big Christmas celebration, but "we have a very nice New Year's celebration". So . . . I will be staying in Kapangan for the New Year's festivities. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well, I really don't have much to say . . . I just wanted to write and wish you all happy holidays and say that I miss home. I miss my family and my friends and I really, really, really wish I was going to be there for Christmas.

But I'm not - and I will survive. Actually, I will do better than survive. I will continue counting my blessings and thanking God for my life. And I totally look forward to seeing you all when the time comes.

Love yourselves and each other. Have a happy christmas and a beautiful and safe new year's. Hugs and kisses to you all xoxo :-)

A Typical Day

2005-12-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. I really haven't had many opportunities to update this blog lately -and when I have, I have felt totally uninspired.

In case some of you are wondering what my day-to-day life is like, I thought I'd give you a little peek into my new "normal". The weather here is currently pretty mild. The temperature during the day ranges from 55 - 80. It still rains somedays, but rainy season will be over soon. I still sleep with my window open at night, but the blanket feels good.

On weekdays I wake up to my cell phone alarm going off at 5:25am. That is if I'm not already awake due to roosters, crying kids, singing kids, barking dogs, brooms sweeping, Kankane-ey chatter, Christmas songs or other various tunes coming from the stereo. Most mornings, however, I wake up to the alarm. I usually lay there for about five minutes and then get up, get my shampoo, soap, and towel and go downstairs for my morning bath. Shareen, our 15-year old housekeeper/nanny/ and my friend, is always in the kitchen chopping veggies or doing other various morning activities, like heating water for our instant coffee. I always bump into her and she always makes some funny gesture at me (I don't like to talk that early in the day, so we just make some physical communication). Then I go into the bathroom, which is in the kitchen.

In the bathroom, I take the little dipper and pour icy cold water on my left leg, then right leg, then left arm, then right arm, then torso, then back. It works wonders for waking me up! By the time I wash my hair, I am numb and don't mind the cold water on my head at all. It's really pretty amazing!

After the bath, I fix a cup of instant coffee with instant creamer and go back to my room. In the solitude of my room, I drink my coffee, write in my journal, and do my morning thing. After I'm dressed, I go downstairs for breakfast. There is always rice and usually whatever we had for dinner the night before (reheated), and sometimes eggs mixed with veggies or potatoes. Or there may be little fish (which I don't love :-/)

Around 7:15 I put my laptop and water bottle in my backpack and walk to school. I live about 1/4 mile from the school, so it's a short walk. Sometimes some of the kids on their way to the elementary school across the street will talk to me along the way. They get tickled when I try to talk to them in Kenkane-ey. Actually, so do I. It's pretty funny just how bad I am at speaking their language!

The schoolday begins at 7:30 with the opening ceremony. All the students and teachers gather in the yard for the flag raising. We sing the national anthem (Biyang Magilew) and another song, which varies depending on the day of the week. Sometimes the principal makes announcements. Sometimes they just clang the bell (by beating a metal rod against a hanging wheel) and the students go to class.

I go to the faculty room and begin working on whatever I've got going for the day at that point. Sometimes I make visual aids. Sometimes I read /research to figure out what activities I'm going to write into the next module. Sometimes I do stuff for my principal. Sometimes I write on my computer. It just all depends on the day.

Many times throughout the day teachers on their off period will talk to me. I always just turn my attention to them (because one of the biggest parts of this job is forming and maintaining relationships). So I do a lot of chatting -about not really much of anything, it seems. But it feels like a good thing to do -so I do.

At around 11:30 or 11:45 I walk home for lunch. Shareen always cooks lunch and we eat around noon. Then I go to my room and read for a while. Sometimes I fall asleep (no wonder I'm getting chubby -I remind myself of my grandpa, who always took a nap after lunch!)

I walk back to school around 1:00 and continue to work on projects. School is over at 4pm, but teachers all stay til at least 4:30. On Mondays and Tuesdays I teach my remediation class from 4-5pm. So, around 3:30 I go to the room and prepare for class. I put out the snacks for the students and write whatever I need to write on the board, etc. I totally enjoy those classes. The students are great. They usually run to class (which makes me feel good) and seem happy to be there. We have a good time and they seem to be learning (at least I hope they are).

After school, I walk home -usually alone. When I get home, I change clothes and drink a cup of coffee. Sometimes I go sit on the poarch with my host sister. Sometimes I sit in the kitchen with Shareen. After coffee, I either stay downstairs and visit with my host family (if they are around) and play with Anne Furnee (the two-year old). Or, I go to my room and hang out reading, watching a movie, playing computer games, listening to music, coloring, writing, etc. until someone knocks on my door and says "mangan tako!" (let's eat).

I go downstairs and eat dinner with the host fam - Assunta, Benson, Anne Furnee, Shareen, and Bin-Bin. Usually Assunta and Benson eat in shifts because Anne Furnee can be a little bit of a pain at the dinner table, so they take turns.

After dinner, I either sit downstairs and visit with the host fam, or go upstairs and sit in the TV room with them while they watch Tagalog news on TV, or just go to my room and do my thing. It's sad to say that most times I just want to go to my room, but I make an effort to spend time with the family on somewhat of a regular basis. It's just always a challenge with the language barrier. My host sister speaks pretty fluent English, but her husband doesn't, so they speak Kankana-ey in the house.

I usually go to my room for good by around 7:30pm. I do any of the aforementioned activities for my evening entertainment and go to sleep anywhere from 9pm - midnight. Usually it's somewhere around 10ish.

Then the alarm goes off at 5:25 and do it all again. Exciting, huh? Yeah . . . I feel ya.

On the weekends I usually go into Baguio and do some shopping and internet and maybe see a movie or something.

Life in Kapangan is very slow-paced and laid back. There's not a whole lot of anything except people and chickens and dogs and a few carabao and cows and lots of rice fields, mountains, flowers, flowering trees, and various other natural resources.

If you feel bored after reading this blog . . . well . . . hehe . . . welcome to my world!

Goodbye Lensan

2005-11-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

So the past couple weeks were filled with tears and sorrow, but things are getting better now.

Lensan Leon, my supervisor's 2 year old son, died of brain cancer on November 5, 2005. He would have been 3 on December 22. The wake and rosary and burial and meals were quite an experience. He laid in the living room for 4 days before he was buried. Everything took place at home. He died on the sofa. Was bathed and moved to a bed in the living room. Was embalmed in the living room. Was placed in a little pine coffin on day 3 in the living room. And finally, was buried in a tomb in the back yard.

People were there at the house 24/7, sitting beside him, talking to him, touching him, singing, praying, crying, laughing, eating, drinking, and telling stories. The custom is for the family to feed all the people as long as they are there. They butchered 10 pigs and a cow! I was there most of the time. My supervisor wanted me there and my host sister encouraged me to stay. I'm glad I did. It was an experience I will never forget. What struck me the most, is how they honor their dead and how personal and real death is. It's like right in your face. Even the little children, his playmates, were there, touching him, talking to him, talking about him, trying to make sense of why he wasn't waking up and playing with them.

On the fourth day, they had a mass and a service for him there at home. Lensan's father, the mayor of Kapangan, spoke and cried. Lensan's mother, my supervisor, spoke, cried, and sang a song. And Lester, the oldest brother, also spoke, cried, and performed a song that he composed for and about Lensan. It was the most touching and tearful event I have attended in a long time.

And at the same time it was very respectful and honoring of a precious little boy who died way too young. So, goodbye little Lensan. No more pain. No more suffering. May you rest in peace.

You can see some pictures of Lensan and his funeral at http://aaa.textamerica.com/ .

More pics . . .

2005-11-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

So I posted a few more pictures on Autumn and Austin's blog. You can see them at: http://aaa.textamerica.com/

Let's see . . . the one of Julie and Jody and I in a taxi was taken just while ago as we rode from La Trinidad into Baguio. Jody lives in La Trinidad and Julie lives 12 hours from here in NE Luzon.

The boyscout campfire was taken when I went to Mt. Province to visit Teri last week. The boyscouts were having an intitiation at the school and invited us to come. In the picture, the boys are doing a native dance around the campfire and playing "lids" because they didn't have any native gongs to play. The music they made was amazing, though.

The pictures of Besao, Mt. Province I snapped out the window of the bus before I left there at 6:30 am. The two ladies squatting in the foreground were funny. One was working hard pulling weeds and the other just sat and talked. Her job: be a companion. She was doing it well. The weather was awesome. I had to sleep under three blankets at night!

The pictures of the workshop were at my school. I did a workshop for the teachers on Group Development and Teambuilding during semester break. It went really well. They all had fun because I would lecture very briefly and then have an activity. Basically, they played together all day - and had a ball. I have to make one disclaimer, though. In the picture where I'm standing in front of the visual aids, well, I didn't make that poster . . . I just had to say that! . . . I really do know how to spell "knowledge" hehe :-)

And finally, the picture of the two tombs and the candle were taken last Monday. I went to Cayapas (a far flung baranguay) with, Jane, a co-teacher, and spend a couple nights with her and her family and celebrated "All Saint's Day" with them. The fellow in the orange t-shirt is a seminary student. He hiked around to all the family tombs in the baranguay and said prayers and blessed the tombs. It was a nice ceremony. Then we ate rice, chicken, dog, and mountains of macaroni salad. Good times.

So, what'll it be?...

2005-11-01T22:08:00.000-08:00

One thing that sucks about living here sometimes is that there's no one to share the absolute hilarity of certain situations. Here's one example: The other day I was sitting at the kitchen table in my host home. Shareen put the food on the table and I notice that our viande (the food you eat with rice) is fried fish - but, it's only the fish heads and tails. No centers. So I say, "What'll it be - heads or tails?!?" And then I laugh - and look around - and realize that everyone at the table is just looking at me with stone sober faces. They clearly didn't see the humor. I made it worse by trying to explain about our coins having "Heads" and "Tails" and how we flip them . . . but about midway through I realized that they didn't see the humor, they just wanted to eat. Nevermind.

Okay, so another thing that happened recently. I was walking into Baguio from the bus station and I realized that I needed to use the restroom. I remembered having seen a big sign near the park that says CLEAN CR (comfort room). I walked over and decided to check it out. The lady sitting out front at the table was collecting the money - so I asked her how much? She said "Are you going to deficate or urinate only?" I couldn't believe my ears! I said, "WHAT?" She looked up at me with an expression that said "don't you understand English?" and said "Are you going to POOH?" I just lost it! I cracked up laughing and explained that no, I would only be urinating today, and she handed me 5 squares of tissue and a ticket and charged me 5 pesos. I was dying!! I was laughing so hard, but, once again, no one else saw the humor. Then she turned to the man beside me and asked him, "Will you pooh?" I just shook my head. So Funny!

So much has been going on and I have so little time to write (as usual!) I took a little trip to Mountain Province this past week and had a great time. I visited Teri, a volunteer in Besao and also saw Nancy (a volunteer in Bontoc) Peyton (a volunteer in Nueva Viscaya) and Dan (a volunteer in Sagada). One of the highlights of the trip was one day Teri, Peyton, and I hiked over a mountain from Besao to Segada in the rain. It was about an hour and a half hike - up hill. I thought I was going to die from exhaustion - but it was great! When we got across the top we came to a road and walked about 20 minutes and then a pickup pulled over and stopped so we climbed in the back. There wasn't anything to hang onto, the bed was soaking wet, and we were bouncing around like crazy! But riding down that rocky, bumpy road in the back of that truck having my insides shuffled and getting soaked by the rain, I had one of those "aha" moments when I realized (and even said out loud) "I am loving my life right now!"

It really is the little moments that have to be cherished. I've talked a lot about how this experience feels like being on a roller coaster (emotionally) - and it does. But as long as I can keep remembering to stop and appreciate the little moments - it will all be okay.

Well, wish I had more time but I have to go catch the last jeepney to Kapangan.
Remember to enjoy the little things :-) Love to all.