Living the Dream

Final thoughts . . .

2007-05-31T17:56:00.000-07:00

Today is the very last day of my service. June 1, 2007. My official Close of Service date. And in a few hours I will be boarding a plane and flying off into the wild blue. But before I go, I feel a need to post one final reflection.

This experience really has lived up to the old Peace Corps motto of "the toughest job you'll ever love". The toughest part wasn't the work, however, it was learning how to live and work in a completely unknown culture. One major difficulty for me here was that on the surface, it doesn't look so different. People dress in western styles, often speak English, go to McDonalds and Starbucks, and sport snazzy cell phones. Appearances, however, can deceive.

Just beneath the western veneer is a unique blend of distinct cultural differences. These show up in the expectations, values, time management, languages, worldviews, behaviors, and general attitudes of the people here. Sometimes the differences are overt . . sometimes covert. The covert ones are the toughest. It's tough to discern what the truth is sometimes, because people never want to "offend". What sometimes goes unrealized here, though, is that agreeing to do something simply not to "offend" . . . and then not following through . . . can even feel MORE offensive. Alas, just an example of a cultural difference that can generate frustration.

On the other hand, some of the cultural differences here have been a true source of comfort. Like the willingness to help someone with whatever - whenever they possibly can. For example, last year when I was going home to visit the U.S. I left my site in the afternoon and went to Baguio for the afternoon. I planned to take the midnite bus to Manila and then board my flight the next morning. At around 8pm in the evening my host sister texted. She had gone in my room to shut the windows and noticed my passport on my table. Fortunately, she realized I would need it and texted me.

At that time of day there are no rides going to my site, which is two hours away from Baguio. I was visiting with a teacher friend when I got the text. She didn't have a car either, but she automatically took it upon herself to help. She went next door and got her neighbor to get his jeep out of the garage and take me to get my passport. I texted my host sister and asked if my host brother, who has a vehicle, could meet us halfway. She didn't tell me at the time, but he was at a party, so she went to the party and pulled him away and told him he needed to do this thing for me. In the end, with the help of my friends along with someone who didn't know me at all . . I got my passport just in time to make it to Manila in time for my flight. This is just one example of the way the people here are always willing to accomodate and help.

Many times throughout my service, I had heavy loads to carry (books, bags, boxes, etc.) Never did I have to carry a load if there was a man or boy or girlfriend (who would find a boy) to help me. I have to say, here in the Philippines, chivalry is definitely not dead. . . and neither is good, old fashioned assistance. It's been nice.

So there were good times and tough times . . . highs and lows. But never have I regretted this choice. It has been a two-year lesson in life, death, love, indifference, togetherness, solitude, friendship, loneliness, and oh-so-much more.

In fact, I suspect I will be recognizing and realizing lessons I learned here for the rest of my life. I'm so glad I came. I'm so glad stayed. And I'm very glad that I will be home soon.

I have one last thing to do while I'm on this side of the world. I need to see more of Southeast Asia and some of China. So, I will be back in the states in five short weeks . . . and I look forward to seeing all of my family and friends.

And for all of you who have kept me in your thoughts, prayers, and emails . . . THANK YOU. I have felt and appreciated all your love. Thanks for supporting me as I discovered "how far I would go" to do "the toughest job I ever loved".

Okay . . love you all and see you soon!

Life goes on . . .

2007-05-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

It's true. Life really does go on. No matter how many tragedies happen around us, the world continues to survive and even thrive. And so it is. We are survivors.

I have been in Cebu City for the past two weeks being a facilitator at an English Language Camp for 137 teachers from Mindanao. The experience has been really wonderful, despite the difficulties. I came here wondering if I would be able to focus on the tasks at hand, given all that had been happening prior to the camp.

However, coming here turned out to be a great decision. The participants were so enthusiastic and involved in our classes that I really fed off their energy. An additional perk was that two weeks was long enough to really get to know a lot of them and learn about their lives in Mindanao. We all had a great time.

Unfortunately, we did experience a great loss during the course of the camp. One of the participants, a 41 year old woman, died. She started coughing one night and couldn't breathe. She went to the hospital about 3 am. They discovered that she had fluid in her lungs but were unable to remove it because her heart was too weak. She died of heart failure. So sad. She was a beautiful Muslim woman with five children. She and her family lived in Tawi Tawi, Mindanao. The participants from her region organized a memorial service; so yesterday we had a tribute ceremony for her after the closing ceremony for the camp.

Today, we are trickling out. Some of the participants left Cebu last night, some this morning. I will fly out around 4 this afternoon. Some will leave tomorrow. We all have places to go and things to do.

I will be flying back to Manila where I will spend the next week. I have medical and dental exams to undergo before I am free to leave the country. Also, I will be seeing and saying farewell to several of my batchmates.

So many goodbyes. So many "last times". Emotionally, it's tough. Even though I know that with every goodbye there is a new beginning. . . the goodbyes still sting. As well they should. If it didn't hurt to leave my fellow pcvs, then it would probably be because we never bonded. But that's certainly not the case. I think we have all been each other's 'life support' at one time or another during the past two years. And we all know that we will never pass this way . . in this way . . again. And so it stings for a short time.

And then we move on to the next stage of our lives. We come home. We reunite. We readjust. We reintegrate. And we begin again. We begin anew . . .

Life.
It goes on.

Goodbye dear friend

2007-04-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

I have tried to write this blog a number of times and failed because words seem so insufficient to express all that I feel.

How do you say goodbye forever to a friend who was so dear? I don't know.

By now most of you probably know that our deepest fears came true for our dear friend, Julia. She is no longer with us in this life. I won't go into detail because it's just too painful, but it appears that at least she passed quickly and her attacker has surrendered and been apprehended.

Dear Julia,
We all miss you here. We had a wonderful memorial celebration of you at the US Embassy on April 21. We laughed, we cried, we sang, we viewed a great slide show of you living life here in the Philippines, and we told funny stories and bragged on all your many accomplishments. I must say . . . we did you proud, girl. It was Julia-worthy. You would have loved it. And maybe you were even there. I like to think you were.

It's really hard to think about you being gone for good. REALLY hard. Even though we only knew each other for two years, these have been two really significant years. Two years that in many ways feel like they contain a lifetime worth of lessons and memories.

I remember our first conversation. It was in the Detroit Airport on March 30, 2005. Our flight to the Philippines was delayed for several hours, so to pass the time we went and ate sushi at a Japanese restaurant there. I was enchanted by you. You were the first person I ever knew who actually lived in New York City, was an editor for a newspaper and had written articles published in the New York Times. But to hear you talk, it was no big deal. You were so modest when it came to your accomplishements.

And I remember our last conversation. Fortunately, it lasted for six hours. On April 5, 2007 we rode the bus together from Baguio to Sagada. We talked and laughed all the way. We talked about guys and Peace Corps and our trip around Southeast Asia and we even made plans for me to come visit you in New York next October. You said you would cook for me. You loved to cook.

It's just so hard to believe that you are gone. I know that your spirit will live on within each of us who knew and love you, though. Forever.

Kelly and I have decided to go ahead with our trip. . . the trip that the three of us were planning to take together. You spent so much time researching and planning . . . it's suppose to be all three of us together. We made plans. But plans sometimes change. Nothing is for certain. Not even best-laid plans. Kelly and I both know that you would want us to go ahead with the trip. It won't be the same without you, but we will carry you with us in our hearts and on our lips.

I love you, girl. I miss you. And I will never forget you and all the good times we had together.

In loving memory of Julia Campbell
January 1967 - April 2007

Missing PCV

2007-04-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. You may have read in the news that a volunteer is missing in the Philippines. It is true and we are all very concerned and upset. Please pray for Julia and her family. She is my friend. In fact, we have been planning a trip together around SE Asia after our service ends June 1.

I believe that Peace Corps Philippines, Washington, the US Embassy, and the local authorities are all working together to do a thorough search. It's just really frightening and worrisome. I just ask all of you who believe in the power of prayer to pray . . and those who have other means of sending positive power this way . . please do.

Just know that I'm alright physically. Just really disheartened and concerned about my friend.

Take care and stay safe.

My Post PC Plan

2007-03-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

Since my time here is rapidly drawing to a close, naturally I have been giving thought to what's next. I admit this daunting question has haunted the back of my mind for two years now. It's only recently that I have recognized what career I'm most interested in pursuing.

After pondering and ruminating my future, I finally asked myself what part of my Peace Corps service have I enjoyed the most. The answer rang out loud and clear in my heart and head. Teaching! I love the interaction with the students. I love watching the light bulbs turn on. I love watching them grow. I love seeing them come out of their shells. It's joy to me. And I love the age I've been teaching here . . the equivalent of middle schoolers, although here, because there are only ten years of school, they are first year high school.

So, I started researching what would be the best path for me to pursue making this desire a reality. I located a program in New Mexico that offers its students teaching certification and a MAT (Master of Arts in Teaching) while they teach at a school fulltime. Peace Corps also has a fellowship program (which reduces tuition significantly) at this school that returned volunteers can apply for. So, as of right now, I'm planning to apply to that school and for that fellowship and, hopefully, get accepted.

But what about before that? What about my short term plans? Well, my service ends the first of June. I'm planning to travel with a couple other girls around SE Asia for a month or two and then head back to the US. I am committed to being home in time to celebrate my Abram's 3rd birthday with him on August 5. Although, I may get back earlier than that . . it won't be any later, that's a promise!

So, today as I sat in my room pondering, I came up with some short range, mid range, and long range goals. What the heck . . I'll share. And remember . . I absolutely ALWAYS reserve the right to change my mind!

Short range:
complete PC service, travel around SE Asia, be home by Aug 1, 2007

Mid range:
2007
September: Submit applications to WNMU and PC Fellowship
2008
January: Get accepted into above mentioned programs
June: Move to New Mexico and get hired at a high school
August: Begin teaching. Continue learning. Begin MAT classes.
2009
August (or before): Pass exams and acquire teaching certification
2011
May: Complete MAT - Consider relocating

Long range - 2015 - 2025:
Living and teaching somewhere beautiful
Serving people
Surrounded with a circle of close friends - and hopefully family
Traveling to see kids and grandkids regularly
Life filled with all the love and comforts I need

2025: Consider retiring

And beyond:
20+ years of travel, love, laughter, witnessing and sharing my kids and grandkids lives

In addition to reserving the right to change my mind . . . I also reserve the right to be an idealist.

Why not?

This world is full of enough fear, depression, regret, negativity . . . I want to be one who generates a positive balance to some of the negativity.

Class Completion Ceremony

2007-02-20T00:44:00.000-08:00

Today was the Extra Challenge English Class 2006-2007 Completion Ceremony at my school and I just want to say . . . my students are AWESOME! I am so proud of them. They showed up and gave 100%. They memorized parts, faced the audience, spoke loudly . . . basically everything I asked them to do that they weren't doing during practice yesterday!

This is a brief synopsis of our simple program . . .

Two students (a boy-R, and a girl-H) were our emcees. They opened the program by welcoming the parents and guests and announcing that a fellow student, B, would lead us in the opening prayer. B led the group in saying "Our Father". Following the prayer, H introduced the school principal, Sir C, who gave a formal welcome and opening remarks.

Following the principal's (snoozer of a) speech, R announced that the class would present an "intermission" (the term used here for the entertainment numbers in programs). For their first intermission the students adpated a story they had read in class into a short play . . "The Giving Tree". We made props (tree trunk, branches, and apples) and hung a curtain creating a makeshift stage in the science lab where we held our classes and our program. In between each of the five story "events", they closed the curtain and switched out characters so that all of the students would have speaking parts. They did a great job.

Next, H announced that Ma'am Tracy would introduce our guest speaker. I had invited my PC supervisor to attend the program. Since she agreed to come, I asked her to give a few words of encouragement to the students (which was billed as "Inspirational Talk" in our Program). I introduced Mrs. B and she did not disappoint. She encouraged and inspired the students and parents alike. Thanks Nellie!

R then announced that the next intermission would be a poem, "One Red Apple", performed by the class. Those who were not characters in the poem stood behind the actors and spoke several intermittent lines in unison. There were 4 characters in the poem: Red Apple, Green Apple, Yellow Apple, and Johnny. The gist of the poem is: Red apple looks around and finds a "green thing" who claims to be an apple. Red apple informs "green" that he can't be an apple because he's GREEN - not red. Green apple cries. Same thing happens with yellow apple. Then Johnny comes along and sets them all straight. He tells them they are all apples no matter what color their skin, because they all have a "star within".

The "apples" wore large colored apples pinned on their front - at the end they all opened the apples and showed their stars inside . . they were all special - and they were all alike. It was sweet and they did a great job.

After this presentation, H announced that we would have the Certificate Distribution. And so we announced each student's name and they came to the front, accompanied by their parents, and received their certificate and grade card and shook hands with the principal, guest speaker, and teachers.

The final intermission was a song. They sang "I Have a Dream". The words were appropriate and heart-warming and the parents really enjoyed hearing them sing. It was nice.

Following the last intermission, R announced that the closing remarks would be given by (yours truly) Ma'am Tracy Henning. And so I did. I thanked principal and guest speaker, congratulated parents, and then addressed each of the students individually. I told them which adjectives I thought of first whenever I thought of them. By the smiles on their faces, I could tell that they enjoyed hearing how special they are to me. I didn't break down and boohoo, but my voice did crack a couple times and I got teary-eyed. But I recovered (it's not culturally acceptable to cry in public here, but what the heck . . I'm American!)

After my closing remarks, H announced that another student, N, would say the closing prayer. She came to the front of the class and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the class, parents, and teachers. I felt the love.

And so it went.

As I see it, the class and the program were both a success. It was nice to honor the students and let them see just how special they are to me and many others. They have all made permanent imprints on my heart . . . and for this, I am very thankful.

Some good advice . . .

2006-12-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

Recently I discovered that all of my US cash stash had been stolen from its hiding place in my room. Oct 1 was the last time I counted the money and tucked it away. Needless to say I was bummed . . . especially in light of my upcoming trip.

I told my host sister as soon as she got home. She said there was no way of knowing who took it. Many people have access to this house and my room wasn’t always locked. She told me, though, that there is a lady who “sees” things and who may be able to give us some clues as to who took it. She said she would check with the teachers at her school and find out if the lady, who lives in another baranguay, still sees people. I told her I’m open to all available help.

Two days later when I got home from school around 5:30, my host sister told me that her husband came home early to drive us to Taba-ao to see the woman. She said, “Take your coffee first while I’m cooking the rice. Then we will go.” So I fixed my coffee and took about three sips. “Time to go.” So we went.

My host brother drove his new used jeepney. In the back were my host sister and her 3 yr-old daughter, my host sister’s twin sister and her 5 yr-old son and 9 year-old daughter, and me. We also picked up and gave a ride to a couple of the teacher’s who had attended my class earlier and were walking home.

The road to the lady’s place is a long winding rocky dirt road that leads away from Baguio. We drove about 30 minutes before we reached her place. It was dark when we arrived and we parked on a bridge. Our crew climbed out the back of the jeepney and my host sister pointed to the light at the top of the hill, which was the school where the woman teaches and lives in the cottage. We would be climbing up dark stairs. I pulled out my cell phone and once again thanked the gods for its trusty built-in flashlight –which has truly been a godsend in this country!

As promised, the woman and her co-teacher housemate were at home. They occupy the little three-room wood and tin guesthouse, since they both live in Baguio and commute home on the weekends. Maam “see-er” directed us where to sit. I sat across from her and recounted to her the facts of the case as I know them. She listened and then she spoke in a broken mixture of Ilokano and English. She showed no signs of doubt or hesitation when she announced that a young man in his 20s took the money. He’s not a criminal or a regular thief. He was tempted because he “knew” that the American had money. Since he was able to get into my room, he searched until he found my cash. However, now he feels guilty and no longer looks me in the eye.

Then she told me what to do, which made perfect sense and was exactly what I needed to hear. She said, “Forgive him and lock your door”. OK. Yes. That’s it.
Simple wisdom.
Sound advice.
Nice.

The Burial

2006-11-09T21:48:00.000-08:00

07 Nov 06

Under the large weathered tarp tied to a corrugated tin roof supported by bamboo poles and decaying wooden beams, the stiff corpse of the 76 year old man lies in the pine box. The priest is saying mass in Ilokano and condemning the men at the funeral for gambling. “You might forget and gamble away your wife!” he warns. As the crowd patiently listens and mechanically responds to all the Catholic rituals, several short haired, mangy looking mongrels weave their way through the people both inside and outside of the open-doored house.

Standing outside under the slim shadow of the roof’s overhang, I can hear the laughing children just inside the house, running and playing games, unaware of the grave ceremony transpiring just a few meters away. I am struck by the natural beauty of the tropical greenery providing a living backdrop for this solemn occasion of death. I look down and notice feet. . . the majority of which are sporting slippers (thongs). Some are muddy, for they have trudged through mountains and muck to be here. Most of the toenails, on both men and women, have been manicured into long points, appearing more as claws to me than my western concept of nice toenails allows. But to the people here they are beautiful, and my blunt, broad nails are a source of snickers.

My, this priest has a lot to say. When will this be over? I am dripping with sweat. Fortunately, I brought my folding fan, which lends a little relief from the heat. One more song . . . Oh, I know this one . . . Amazing Grace how sweet the sound . . . I’ve always enjoyed singing this song, and I know all the verses. Yes! Oh . . . wait a minute . . . what’s this verse? Hmm. Oh yeah, I remember now. Back in our place we use to sing the 1st, 2nd, and last verses only. In the Philippines we sing every single verse and often repeat the first verse and then the last two lines of it! How ironic. Here, in the land where people love “shortcuts” –they shortcut everything except for song lyrics . . . and those they extend. How Filipinos love, love, love to sing!

But I digress.

So the mass seems to be over. We’re moving now. The teachers are pssting me to follow them down the hill. . . Ah, here we are on the side of the hill. We have a front row view of the freshly constructed concrete tomb, which must be placed where the head of the dead faces the morning sun. . . Never mind the ants climbing up our feet and legs. Let's sing another song. “Nearer my God to thee . . .”

Here come the men carrying the pine coffin. The lid is on and secured with a wooden peg sticking up out of the top. They’re setting it down and removing the lid. A long-haired man takes a white ball cap and places it on the head of the dead man. The priest says a few more words and now another older man is reading something about God (Apo) in Ilokano, probably some scriptures. He finishes and a man removes the ball cap from the dead man and wraps his head and face in the special burial blanket (white with a blue stripe). They place the ball cap on his chest and replace the lid of the pine box.

Time to close the box for good. Now they take wooden nails and hammer them into six holes on the corners and ends of the coffin. They hammer one long peg down a ways and then break it off and move it to the next hole and repeat the motion. One long nail works for three holes. I was told yesterday that the coffin is built using only wooden nails so that it will completely decompose along with the body.

The priest sprinkles water on the coffin, on top of the tomb, and inside the tomb. He hands the water bottle to the older man who read the passage earlier and has him repeat the sprinkles in all the same places. The ten men now pick up the coffin and maneuver it into the tomb. This is no easy feat, as the opening of the tomb is on the edge of a drop off and there is a ladder down the side of the mountain in front of it. But they manage deftly. Clearly these Igorots (mountain people) have spent their lives negotiating the ups and downs of this place.

As soon as the box is placed inside the open tomb, two men dump two bags of dirt and a bag of concrete out on the ground in the very spot where the coffin had laid. Two others grab shovels and begin mixing, and here come two more men with two buckets of water. They pour the water into the bowl-shaped mound and the men with shovels mix, mix, mix until the cement is the perfect consistency. Two other men place hollow concrete blocks in the opening of the tomb, and the master mason covers the blocks with the cold, wet cement, working it into all the cracks until at last it is smooth and complete.

And thus, the dead is laid to rest. His final bed is made.

Now, it’s time to eat.

October already . . . my favorite month

2006-10-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

Aah . . . October. Historically, it's my favorite month. Not because it's my birth month, but because of the crisp air and beauty of the colorful changing leaves. As usual, everything is different here. Even though we don't currently have crisp air and never have colorful leaves here, I couldn't avoid having another darn birthday.

It was okay, though. The kids in my Student Library Club had a surprise party for me. They made a beautiful card which they all signed, a birthday banner, and they prepared snacks. Two of the girls came to the library and asked me if I would take a "stroll" with them around the campus. While we were out, the others prepared the banner and snacks in the library. When we went back, they were all there to greet me and sing happy birthday. It was sweet. The funny thing was that they did it on the wrong day! They did it the day before (just because they thought it was the 4th not the 5th). It somehow made it better, because I could still deny that it was my birthday. The next day, my actual birthday, I went to Baguio and spent the day. I didn't tell my host family that it was my birthday, so I was able to avoid all the hype. Besides, the tradition here is that the birthday person is the one who buys the food and treats everyone else. So, as you can imagine, birthdays can be really expensive!

A lot has been going on since I last posted. I have been working hard to prepare for two classes that I will begin teaching in November. Beginning on the 6th, I will teach an after-school English class to 1st year high school students. We will meet on Mondays and Tuesdays. Starting on Wednesday, Nov 8th, I will be teaching an after-school English class for teachers. It will be opened to the teachers and principal at my school and to the teachers and admin from the elementary school across the street. I plan to teach both classes through February, so that will keep me at site for a while.

That's why it's good that I have some upcoming travel plans before those classes begin. I will be leaving on Oct 11 to head down to Manila. On the 12th, I will fly to Bohol for a UNICEF funded Teacher Training, where I get to be a presenter. That will be Oct 12-18. Then I will fly back to Manila for a few days and then I'll fly to Palawan, where I will help some other PCVs with Teacher Training Seminars that we will present at two different schools. That will be Oct 22-26. I'm looking forward to both trainings, especially the one on Palawan because I haven't seen that place yet . . . and I hear it's nice :-)

As far as homelife goes, things have been much nicer at site lately. My host sister and I finally had a heart-to-heart talk about our language and cultural differences. We honestly shared our feelings and figured out a way to co-exist respectfully and even enjoy each others' company. Of course, we had both made some assumptions about each other that simply weren't true. I felt very relieved after talking with her and I've been making a point of eating dinner and watching "Deal or No Deal" (Filipino version, of course) with her and Benson and Furnee every evening. It is a good way to interact and enjoy something together that we can all understand. It's been working out well.

School life is good, too. As I said before, I've been staying pretty busy there - and that's always nice. My principal is supportive in words, but not so much in his actions. Supposedly there are absolutely NO funds available to purchase supplies for my classes. Oh well. Guess its good that I'm a "rich American" volunteer. Ha! I can buy my own supplies . . . no problem! :-/

Well, like I said before, it's October. Here, that means that we are well into the "BER" months, which means Christmas music can be heard playing on the radio most days. Which makes me think of the holidays, of course. Which reminds me . . . that this year I'm planning to travel to Malaysia and Singapore with two PCV friends for Christmas. We're planning to fly out on Dec 25 and return Jan 3. I figured one Christmas and New Year in Kapangan, Benguet is enough. I'm looking forward to seeing how Christmas and New Year is spent in another part of Asia. And hopefully, it will help me get through the holiday doldrums and sorrow that I feel because of not being with my family and friends back home.

Okay, so I have to close for now. Hope all of you are doing well and remembering to enjoy every little part of every single day. Take care and keep in touch!

This 'n That

2006-08-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, time for another update. What have I been up to lately? As I mentioned last month, my counterpart and I went to a Project Design and Management conference in Los Banos, Laguna a couple weeks ago. It turned out to be the most useful conference I've attended thus far. The information was all about how to design and write a project from start to finish - useful stuff. The outcome for my counterpart and me is that we're going to start a library club at school. Should be fun and will give us a core group of students to train in the new classification system and help to promote reading and all the new books we've acquired.

So, as I was sitting here typing this blog I just got a phone call. Looks like I'm going to be a Resource Volunteer for batch 265 PST2 (pre-service training). I'm scheduled to teach a session on Remedial English for the Non-Reader. Woohoo. That will be Sept. 11 in Tagaytay, Cavite (which is close to Manila). Never know what's gonna happen next!

Back to the blog and what's been going on here . . . Last weekend I went to Sagada to celebrate some birthdays with other volunteers. I figured since Saturday was Tanner's bday that I should celebrate. I mean, I did "give birth" . . . so what the heck? That's a "birth"day of sorts! Anyway, we had a lot of fun. Good food. Good friends. A bit of beer. And a lot of laughter. Good times.

It is rainy season now and it rains pretty much every single day . . . but not til the afternoons usually. I knew that I enjoyed rainy days before I came here, but I have discovered after living in a country with a "rainy" season, that I really DO love the rain. The Filipinos think I'm crazy, but I still get a warm, cozy feeling every time it starts raining. Yes, it's a hastle to travel in sometimes. And I'm really irritated 'cuz I left my umbrella in Mt. Province last weekend. But overall, I love the rain. And besides, when it rains at night, the roosters and dogs are a lot less noisy and that's always a plus!

Oh, speaking of roosters and dogs. We have a new animal edition to the cacophony of noise I awake to outside my window every morning. It's pigs! Pigs, pigs, pigs. Grunting, squealing, pigs. Did you know that there are sounds that pigs make that are almost identical to some sounds that roosters make? I didn't either, but it's true. They do. It's a low-range squealing noise . . . Oh the things I'm learning in the Peace Corps. Only in the Philippines . . .

Okay, guess I'll close for now. Take care and be safe. Love to all *MUAH* (that's a big kiss:-)

Finally . . . an update

2006-07-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

Seems that the time between my blogs just keeps getting longer and longer . . . I'm not really sure why, but it probably has something to do with the fact that life here has somehow normalized for me and not many things stand out as blog-worthy. Whatever, whyever, it doesn't really matter. But I talked to Sommer and she said, "Mom, your last blog entry was June 8. Write something already!"

So here I am. Sitting in an internet place in Baguio City. It's about 12:30 pm. Just got off a bus from Manila which only took 6 hours today. Will take a jeepney back to site at 2 pm.

I was in Manila the past week for our Mid-service Conference. The conference was a real drag, but it was really great getting to see the other volunteers. We had the opportunity to see the volunteers that were posted in the Visayas (southern islands) and we had not seen them since our first week in country. It was a pleasant surprise to find it so comfortable to reunite with people we barely knew. I guess we were able to enjoy and feel comfortable together due to this past year as PCVs in the Philippines. Even tho' we each had separate and unique experiences, the overall cultural experience has been very similar.

I will spend the next week at site and then the following week will be traveling back to the Manila area with my counterpart for another conference. It is one where we get project-design guidance and the opportunity to work side-by-side with our counterparts designing our own projects. I am taking my librarian counterpart. It should be a worthwhile conference. If nothing else, it gives my counterpart a free vacation and she will love me for that!

As far as work goes, I have begun cataloging the library. And I will start teaching the Extra Challenge English Class at the beginning of September. It really WILL be an extra challenge if it turns out the way it looks like it's going to. Instead of having 30 chosen students this year. I'll be teaching ALL (100) of the first year students. There are 50 in each section, so I will teach 50 on Monday after school and 50 on Tuesday. Well, of course they won't all show up, but it will definitely be a larger group than last year. But I'm looking forward to it. I just hope I can learn all their names before the end of the school year!

What else? . . . As far as the host family situation goes. Well, it's going. We have a new house-helper. She's a 28 year old girl from Buguias (another municipality where they speak Kankanaey). She's nice enough to me. She doesn't cook as well as Shareen did, nor is she funny like Shareen was, but she's fine. I'm paying her to do my laundry, so it's nice not to have to wash my own clothes right now.

Oh, last week while I was in Manila there was a level three typhoon at my site. No one was hurt, but school was out for three days and there was a landslide that blocked the road from Kapangan to Baguio City. How exciting! It was raining like crazy in Manila and there were floods there, but no big troubles.

Well, I can't think of anything else so I'll close for now. Take care and email when you can! Seems the less I blog, the less people write to me. I'm thinking there's probably a direct corrolation. :-) Oh well . . . we do the best we can. Love to all.

Reality Check?

2006-06-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

Spent more than a month away from my site, during which most of the time I had full access to hot showers, washers and dryers (or affordable laundry services), and flush toilets. Now I’m back in Kapangan and am wondering what the heck actually constitutes the “real world”. Washed every stitch of my dirty vacation clothes by hand. By HAND. And hung them out to dry.

Peace Corps . . . it’s life in another rhythm. And I like it. Even though I hate it sometimes. I like it more than I hate it. And that’s why I’ve decided to stay.

Some of you know that I’ve been thinking of early termination (et-ing) from the Peace Corps and moving to Thailand to teach for the next year. While teaching in Thailand still intrigues and entices me, I have decided to stay here in the Philippines for the next year and finish what I began. I am proud to be a part of this organization. And I truly want to be the best impression of America that I can be.

Also, I realized a couple things recently that really helped me make my choice. I realized that I have spent a huge part of my life being afraid to try . . . and fail. In fact, to try and fail is probably one of the scariest propositions I could imagine. And yet, I have tried and failed at some stuff since I’ve been here. And I’m still here and I’m okay. So what the heck? I’m going to try . . . and see what happens. I will do my best. (As my Filipino friends say) come what may.

The other thing I realized is that I have spent most of my life worrying and making choices based on what [I think] other people think. But . . . that’s not working out for me very well these days. So I’ve decided to change this strategy. Here’s the plan: I’m done with worrying about what [I think] other people think. I am going to do what feels right to me . . . not live my life worrying about what everyone else thinks I should do. It is impossible to please everybody anyway. And at the end of the day, I am really the one whose approval I need to be happy.

And with these couple of paradigm shifts my life at site feels much better than it felt before I left on vacation. Like things look brighter and feel lighter.

I also know that going home and seeing my people really gave me the boost I needed to be able to carry on. It was just so darn good to hug and squeeze and giggle and play with my baby Abey and to . . hehehe . . hug and squeeze and giggle and play with the rest of you guys! I cherish every memory of every minute :-) of that trip.

So enough. That’s enough for now. I’m here and happy and hoping for a busy, productive, and satisfying second year of this Peace Corps experience. Love to all. Take care. And God bless.

Back in the 'Pines

2006-05-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

My trip home was better than I had even hoped . . . just not long enough! I really enjoyed being back in the states and hanging out with family and friends. I especially loved playing with my baby Abey! I think the biggest "culture shock" I felt back in the states came when I was driving on I-40 to go visit Elanor and Gary. I noticed that people kept passing me. To me they seemed to be flying. I looked down at my speedometer and realized I was going a little less than 50 mph! Hello. It made me realize just how slow paced life really is here. In the Philippines I am rarely in a vehicle moving more than 35 or 40 mph . . . and usually they are going even slower than that! I must admit though, by the time I left I was once again use to the fast-pace of America and speeding with the best of them!

Thanks to all of you who made me feel so loved. And for those of you that I didn't get to see . . . Sorry we weren't able to connect this trip. Another day . . . another time.

When I returned to the Philippines I met up with three other volunteers and we took a little 3-day trip to the island of Bohol. There we saw the Chocolate Hills, a mangrove forest, and the world's smallest primates: the Tarsiers. After that little mini-vaca, we took a super ferry back to Cebu City, Cebu to participate in Tudlo Mindanao (a teacher-training seminar for teachers from Mindanao). The training went really well and I had an excellent time there. I think it was my favorite PCV experience yet. I really enjoyed presenting and being with other PCVs as well as meeting a lot of teachers from Mindanao. It was nice to see a mixture of Muslim and Christian teachers and to observe how they interact. We were in Cebu for a little over one week.

We took a 6 am flight to Manila on May 28 and on the 29th I had a dental appointment (teeth cleaned - no cavities :-) Right now I'm in Laoag, Illocos Norte at Tom Peng's site. I came here with Lubna and Tom to celebrate Tom's birthday with him. I'll go back to Baguio on June 1 and probably get back to site on June2.

I have been away from site for over a month and I wish I could say that I am really anxious to get back. That's not so much the way I feel. However, I'm going to go back refreshed from my visit home and hopefully things will be better than I expect. We'll see.

I will close for now. Just wanted to post an update that I made it back and I'm safe and sound. It's time to go eat lunch, and as usual . . . I'm starving :-) Take care and know you're in my thoughts.

Homesick and Ready

2006-04-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's weird how I can be feeling this homesick after being here for an entire year. I'm sure that one big reason is because now that school is out, I'm at a loss of things to do with myself during the days. I have been spending a lot of time in my room - secluded - and that's not good. It's like a downward spiral. The more I shut myself off from the outside world - the more I feel like an outsider. The more I feel like an outsider - the less I want to go out. It really sucks. I'm counting on my visit home to provide me with all the loving support I need to come back and make it through my last year here.

I'm just so happy that I'll be coming home to visit VERY SOON! I can't wait to see you all.

It seems that I should have more to post since I haven't posted in almost a month. It's just that I'm not feeling very fond of my current situation and I don't want to write anything I might regret later. I'm pretty sure you understand.

It's all going to be alright. I just need to come home and get some hugs and be reminded that there are people who love and accept me just as I am. And that I'm not really as old as I feel somedays. And that not everyone on the planet speaks five languages fluently.

Enough now. I have said enough. Counting the days and looking forward to being home shortly. Love to all and see you soon!

One Year Already!

2006-04-02T22:47:00.000-07:00

I know some of you have been wondering if I'm ever going to blog again. Yes . . . I've just been super busy and away from internet a lot.

So . . . I can't believe we have been in this country for an entire year as of April 1! It never ceases to amaze me how long the days can feel but how fast the time goes by. I'm pretty sure the second year will whiz by even faster. So, I just want to say Congrats to all my PC friends who read this blog . . . way to survive and even thrive!

Right now I'm in Manila at the PC offices. I just got off a bus from Baguio and have a few hours here before I catch a plane to Cebu. I am on my way to the Tudlo Mindanao pre-training for a national teacher training workshop that will be held in Cebu the last week of May. I will be working with two teachers from Mindanao at this workshop and we will be writing presentations to present at the workshop in May. I'm looking forward to it because it sounds fun and challenging.

Last Friday was graduation at the high school where I work. Thankfully, I didn't have to give any speeches! All I had to do was create the program and hang about 13 medals around the neck of the valedictorian. Piece of cake. The graduation was a "simple ceremony" compared to others they have had in the past. It was held outside at 9:00 am. After the graduation, the guests and faculty had lunch in the Home-ec room. It turned out to be a nice ceremony and delicious food. Short and sweet. Sometimes simple is a very good thing.

After the graduation lunch, I packed my bag and went to Baguio to meet the new batch of Peace Corps trainees in Northern Luzon. I attended their welcome dinner and got to visit with all 13 of them. The next day, my friend Tom and I did a presentation on American Diversity. It was fun and the trainees seemed to enjoy it. It's good to know that we have a new group of volunteers who will get to their sites in early June, especially since the volunteers from the batch before us are leaving now. Most of the new people are very young (early 20s). None are very near my age. And one is older (60s). It seems like a very good group, though, and I'm excited to get to know them better.

As far as homelife goes, I am sad to say that there have been some changes recently. Shareen, my friend who has lived with us, cooked, cleaned, kept Anne-Furnee, washed my laundry and just been a wonderful Godsend because she has kept me laughing and spoken English with me the entire time . . . has moved back to her home in Ifugao. I will miss her terribly. She left on Thursday. On Sunday, Bin-Bin, the boy who has been living with us for the past year also moved back to be with his mom and siblings in La Trinidad. I will miss him, too. The dynamics around our house are really changing right now and I don't like the changes, but it's how it is. I will adjust . . . as I hand-wash my own laundry . . . :-\.

Take care and keep in touch and I will try to blog a little more often . . . but am not making any promises! Love to all.

Third times a charm . . .

2006-03-02T19:13:00.006-08:00

So this week I wrote a newsy blog at home . . . but didn't get it copied to my memory stick. Then yesterday I was here at internet, wrote yet another blog and as I was about to post it, Windows decided to shut down, so all was lost. So, here I go again - and keepin' it short . . .

Probably the best thing that's happened with me this past week is that I've had a mental shift and have amazingly began to start learning my target language. Not sure of what all the factors in my mental shift are, but I will share this one thing. I was visiting with a couple ladies in the community last week and one said to me, "Anyone who really cares to learn our language can learn it." I thought about that a lot after I left her. I asked myself, "Do I really care?" The answer that came to my mind was "Yes, I care, but that's not what I've been focusing on as I've tried to learn the language". What I have been focusing on is that I need to learn so that the people in my community will accept me. In other words, I've been feeling pressured to learn for other people. This week, I made a mental shift and have started studying language ONLY because I want to . . . because I care. I want to learn so that I can interact with more people in my community. And strangely enough, I've made real progress. That's it.

So . . . this is what I realized: My target language is Kankanaey - Kan - Kan - AEY . . . Can-Can-I. So, if I just make a little shift . . . it becomes I CAN CAN. Works for me!

As for my upcoming schedule. . . it looks like I will be involved in a seminar in Cebu the last week of May, so I am looking at coming home after it is over. Tentatively, I am looking at leaving Manila on May 28 or 29 and staying in the U.S. until June 16 or 17. If any of you know of good deals on plane tickets or websites that I should check out to find good deals . . . please let me know!

I guess that's it for now. Gotta run. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down

2006-02-11T18:55:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the internet place in Center Mall in Baguio City. Just got a haircut and can still feel the shorthairs on my neck and down the back of my shirt. I went to, yet again, a different beauty salon in search of a good haircut. This one appears to be okay . . . but the true test will come in the morning when I wash and comb it. It was a razor cut this time. Interesting. We'll see.

It's hard to believe it has been almost a month since I last updated this blog! I have been incredibly busy so that makes time really whiz by. My primary project, the reading remediation program, is winding up so I've been busy finishing modules for that. March 7th will be our completion celebration. We will have a short program where the students will sing a song for their parents, my co-teacher and I will sing the praises of the kids and parents, we will hand out certificates of completion and the student's final evaluation cards. Hopefully, it will all go well. I will also need to compile all the modules into a binder and write a final report for the Division Office at the DepEd and submit it so they can determine if they want to share the modules with other schools.

The other thing that has had me busy the last two weeks is preparing a presentation for a Teacher Training Seminar that I am going to participate in. The seminar will be in Bicol, the southern most part of a peninsula off the island of Luzon. And it isn't until the end of April, but the due date to submit our presentations is tomorrow. So, this past Thursday I went to Manila to work on my presentation in the Peace Corps office on Friday and Saturday. I was able to complete it, so I felt SO productive. Woohoo!

I am also hoping to participate in another Teacher Training Seminar called Tudlo Mindonao where teachers from Mindonao go to Cebu City for a two-day workshop. I have applied to be a presenter at that T.O.T. but haven't heard if I am invited yet. If I get to do that, I will be traveling to Cebu City in early April for a training and again in late May for the seminar. Which means that my trip home would be pushed back to the end of May.

In June there is another training. This one I will attend with my counterpart and we will design another project. I will take the librarian from our school to that together we can design our library development project. That will be my focus for next school year. I don't know the dates on that training yet, so that could also affect my trip home. The bottom line is, I just don't know yet WHEN I will be coming home for a visit . . . only that I WILL be there as soon as I can!

I miss everyone so much. But I am adjusting to life here, slowly but surely. It's hard to believe that I have been here for 10 and a half months . . . that's almost one year!

Last Thursday when I went to Manila, it really hit me. "I am adapting to this place and learning how to get around on my own!" This was how my Thursday went: I got up that morning and took a jeepney into Baguio (two hours). Then I walked to the Victory Liner bus station and boarded a bus to Pasay City, Manila. That was a seven hour ride. When I arrived in Manila, I walked several blocks to the LRT (which I had ridden before, but never alone). I had to ask for directions, but I made it. I rode the LRT to a street in the area of where I was going to stay. Then I deboarded and walked about a mile to the Pension Natividad, where I checked in. I went to the dorm, put my things down, rested for about 30 minutes and walked to the mall. I decided to see what movies were playing, so I walked to the top floor, checked the signs and decided to see "Munich". I went to the counter to purchase my ticket and ran into three other Peace Corps Volunteers who were in town for a meeting. One I knew and two I got to meet for the first time. We all went to the movie together and walked back to the pension together afterwards. It was a good day. Ten months ago the thought of going to Manila on my own and not taking a taxi was terrifying. Now I've done it. No biggie. Life is good.

Well, it's time to go catch my jeepney back to Kapangan. Next week is our baranguay fiesta in Central, Kapangan, so I will be introducing the guest speaker . . . the mayor of La Trinidad. Wish me luck. They told me I can speak English, so I should be okay . . . whew!

Take care and please send some emails! Biglove to you all. xoxo

General Update

2006-01-18T17:58:00.000-08:00

I thought you might enjoy an update on what is going on in a few different areas of my life. So here goes . . .

Work: Big change here. You may remember our principal, Mrs. Aurora Leon, who lost her son last November. Last week she was informed of her transfer to Regional Science and Math High School in La Trinidad, Benguet . . . effective immediately! So, here it is less than three months before graduation and she’s transferred. It’s a promotion for her but my goodness . . . talk about overwhelming life changes! Yesterday was her last day at our school; it was heart wrenching. She cried. We cried. She said, “It feels like everything I love is being taken away all at once” (first, her baby and now the school that she started six years ago). God must have big plans for her.

Her replacement until the end of May is the head English teacher, Mrs. Jane Ngolab. DepEd assigned her as Teacher-in-Charge. This means she will handle all the Principal’s duties (a full-time job) plus teach all her classes (a full load). And here’s the kicker . . . she gets NO EXTRA COMPENSATION. And a little aside, she’s pregnant!

As for me, I’m working hard and enjoying it. I love teaching the remediation class twice a week. The students are shy by nature and polite by school indoctrination, but they are opening up and talking more all the time. I’m enamored with them. Next week, we will be having a meeting with the parents to hand out evaluation cards and let them view their students’ work and ask questions – a group parent/teacher conference . . . and I’m playing the part of a teacher –Yikes!

I have one more module to write for now. Then I will revise some of the early ones and compile them into a binder, prepare a report on our pilot class, and submit it to the Division Office where it will be made available to other schools in Benguet. Sounds good anyway. We’ll see.

Peace Corps: This week I went with my Regional Manager to assess a couple potential sites in my area for a new volunteer. One was a high school and it doesn’t look like they will get a volunteer. The other site was the Mayor’s office here in Kapangan. A volunteer may get assigned there. That means that come next June, I might have a site mate. I hope it happens. It could be fun to have another American to share this fishbowl with!

Host home: The biggest change on this front is that I had a bookshelf built for my room. A local furniture maker built it out of pine. It’s beautiful and gives me room for all my books, movies, toiletries, etc. It’s funny how much a 4’x6’ shelf can enhance the quality of life in an 8’x10’ room. I’m lovin’ it!

Attitude: Best change of all. I finally got tired of feeling bummed out. I realized that this period of my life is very temporary and will soon end. If I spend my time here feeling sad about all that I’m missing, I will be filled with regrets when it’s over because I missed the unique joy of this experience . . . AND missed everything at home! So, my new year’s intention is to fully experience and appreciate this time . . . so that I will have happy stories to share! And I’m pleased to report that I’m feeling much happier :-).

Naragsak ay biag ya pipiyan da kayo!
(Happy life and love to all of you!)

Lost Blog

2006-01-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome 2006

2006-01-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

So here it is 2006 and I have been in the Philippines for nine months now. I find that I am still grateful for this experience, but have been going through the most intense sense of missing my family and friends that I have felt since I've been here.

I just gotta say . . . the holidays are really a tough time to be away from home.

But I made it through and even had some fun in the midst of it and am feeling better everyday.

I had language camp in La Trinidad from Dec 12-16. On Dec 17th my friend, Tom, and I took a bus and headed back to Nueva Vizcaya to visit our first host families. We were trying to get there early because my host family had told me that they were leaving for Manila on the 18th, so I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. On the way to NV, our bus broke down THREE times! Finally, the last time it broke down, we were close enough to catch a jeep into Solano (our destination), so that's what we did. In Solano we stopped in Bread and Bites to get something to eat. I heard someone knocking on the glass window behind me. I turned around and saw my old host brother. I went outside and the entire host family came walking up. Of course, I was happy to see them . . . I assumed they were excited to see me, too, and had just come to town to check to see if I had arrived yet. Turns out, they were actually on their way to Manila! They decided to leave a day early because they realized the letters on their vehicle tags were coded so that they wouldn't be allowed to drive in Manila on Monday - and they needed to do some things as soon as they arrived - so they needed to go a day early. (The traffic is so bad here that the major cities have restrictions on what days certain vehicles are allowed to drive, according to their tags). So . . . turns out, I saw them for all of 10 minutes and then they were off! Fortunately, I was able to stay with Peyton, another PCV friend of mine who lives in Solano with her host family.

The next day was Sunday, so I went to church with Peyton. Then, that afternoon Tom and I took a jeepney to Lagawe, Ifugao. That's a town near Banaue, where the world famous rice terraces are. We stayed with Amber, a PCV who is posted in Lagawe. She cooked spaghetti and we watched a movie (Dodge Ball) on her computer. Good food and fun. Nice.

Monday morning Tom and I packed our toothbrushes and extra t-shirts into one backpack and took a jeepney to Banaue. There, we met a young married couple from Denver. Together with them, we hiked up and over a mountain into a village called Batad, built in the midst of a rice terrace. There is no electricity there and many of the homes are native nuts. The village is beautiful and because it is so remote, the pollution is minimal. The hike was about 9 km. We spent the night in a guest house where the people were friendly, the accomodations were adequate, and the price was right (100 pesos per night / 55p = $1). The next morning it was misting. Tom and I got up early (5:30) and hiked out. It was an exhilarating, beautiful way to begin the day.

We backtracked to Lagawe, picked up the rest of our stuff, took a bus to Bontoc. There we met up with Teri. She texted me as soon as I got into town and said "Be careful . . . Nellie is here!" Nellie is our PC Regional Manager and I was traveling on the down low (because I didn't want to use up any vacation days!) If I had gotten caught, I would have just been reprimanded and charged vacation days - but I didn't want that to happen. So . . . we had to find alternate transportation out of town (she told Teri she was taking the jeepney to Sagada - which is what WE WOULD have taken, had she not been there!) We hired a tricycle to take us to a junction where we waited for a bus to pass through. It's funny to think that here I am, 45 years old, and STILL bending the rules and trying not to get caught. Oh my!

The next three days we stayed with Teri in Besao, Mt. Province. Her site is beautiful and rural and pretty darn cold this time of year. One day we hiked from Besao to Segada. It's a nice hike up and over a mountain, through the pine trees. Mostly, we just hung out at Teri's place and ate and talked and read books and laughed and enjoyed being Americans and speaking English and making references to things in America that we all understood. It's the little things :-)

A couple days before Christmas Teri, Tom and I all went to Baguio. We spent the night and got up the next day and went to Kapangan. They stayed at my place Christmas eve and Christmas night. The first night we went to midnight mass . . . the church was packed and we had to sit on the front row. The next day my host family drove us up a mountain so that we could see a beautiful view of our municipality and La Union, the province next to Benguet. After that, we went back to the house and fixed dinner. We had chicken adobo and I made a big green salad with Italian dressing. We also had fresh green beans and mangoes. It was delicious. The rest of the day we just hung around the house, watched a movie on my computer and visitied with my host family.

The next day, the three of us went back to Baguio because Teri's little brother was coming to visit and was due to get into Baguio on the 27th. We ate good food in Baguio, listened to some music in a couple clubs, and watched HBO in our room. The next day we met Teri's brother at the bus station. Tom left for his site. I spent another night in Baguio with Teri and her brother. The next day I went back to Kapangan . . . and spent the next several days reading and relaxing.

New Year's Eve was pretty nice . . . we had a big dinner at our place and then had a gift exchange and played parlor games. After that, I went to the community dance with my host sister and her sister. We danced the "Grand March" and a few other dances and welcomed the new year by drinking coffee and eating pancit at midnight. There were a few small fireworks. We stayed and played until about 1:30.

So, here it is January 2, 2006. I am really ready to get back to work and get going on my projects. And I feel thankful . . . thankful for this experience . . . and for my family and friends . . . and thankful for the people here who are teaching me so much about another way of life. I hope all of you are doing well and have a satisfying and joy-filled year.

Naragsak ay Paskua en kayo (Happy Holidays to you all)

2005-12-15T03:22:00.000-08:00

So . . . this week I am here in LaTrinidad for language training camp. I'm pretty sure I have been learning some stuff, but right now I can't remember what any of it is. My language teacher here at the camp is a co-teacher at my school who I meet with most Sunday afternoons for language tutoring sessions. She is a sweety, but hasn't taught language before so we are both learning as we go.

We are staying on the campus of Benguet State University in dorms. I feel really fortunate to have a double room (2 twin beds) but no room mate and a private CR. Woohoo! It's the little things . . .

Tomorrow is the last day of language training. On Saturday morning I will be traveling about 7 hours by bus back to Nueva Vizcaya to visit my first host family. They are leaving for Manila on the 18th, so it will be a short visit with them. After that, I think I will be going to Ifugao and onto Mt. Province to visit some other volunteers. Teri (and possibly Tom) -- volunteers who were in my cluster during training-- will be coming with me back to my site for Christmas. That will be a good thing.

Everyone in Kapangan says that they don't have a big Christmas celebration, but "we have a very nice New Year's celebration". So . . . I will be staying in Kapangan for the New Year's festivities. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well, I really don't have much to say . . . I just wanted to write and wish you all happy holidays and say that I miss home. I miss my family and my friends and I really, really, really wish I was going to be there for Christmas.

But I'm not - and I will survive. Actually, I will do better than survive. I will continue counting my blessings and thanking God for my life. And I totally look forward to seeing you all when the time comes.

Love yourselves and each other. Have a happy christmas and a beautiful and safe new year's. Hugs and kisses to you all xoxo :-)

A Typical Day

2005-12-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. I really haven't had many opportunities to update this blog lately -and when I have, I have felt totally uninspired.

In case some of you are wondering what my day-to-day life is like, I thought I'd give you a little peek into my new "normal". The weather here is currently pretty mild. The temperature during the day ranges from 55 - 80. It still rains somedays, but rainy season will be over soon. I still sleep with my window open at night, but the blanket feels good.

On weekdays I wake up to my cell phone alarm going off at 5:25am. That is if I'm not already awake due to roosters, crying kids, singing kids, barking dogs, brooms sweeping, Kankane-ey chatter, Christmas songs or other various tunes coming from the stereo. Most mornings, however, I wake up to the alarm. I usually lay there for about five minutes and then get up, get my shampoo, soap, and towel and go downstairs for my morning bath. Shareen, our 15-year old housekeeper/nanny/ and my friend, is always in the kitchen chopping veggies or doing other various morning activities, like heating water for our instant coffee. I always bump into her and she always makes some funny gesture at me (I don't like to talk that early in the day, so we just make some physical communication). Then I go into the bathroom, which is in the kitchen.

In the bathroom, I take the little dipper and pour icy cold water on my left leg, then right leg, then left arm, then right arm, then torso, then back. It works wonders for waking me up! By the time I wash my hair, I am numb and don't mind the cold water on my head at all. It's really pretty amazing!

After the bath, I fix a cup of instant coffee with instant creamer and go back to my room. In the solitude of my room, I drink my coffee, write in my journal, and do my morning thing. After I'm dressed, I go downstairs for breakfast. There is always rice and usually whatever we had for dinner the night before (reheated), and sometimes eggs mixed with veggies or potatoes. Or there may be little fish (which I don't love :-/)

Around 7:15 I put my laptop and water bottle in my backpack and walk to school. I live about 1/4 mile from the school, so it's a short walk. Sometimes some of the kids on their way to the elementary school across the street will talk to me along the way. They get tickled when I try to talk to them in Kenkane-ey. Actually, so do I. It's pretty funny just how bad I am at speaking their language!

The schoolday begins at 7:30 with the opening ceremony. All the students and teachers gather in the yard for the flag raising. We sing the national anthem (Biyang Magilew) and another song, which varies depending on the day of the week. Sometimes the principal makes announcements. Sometimes they just clang the bell (by beating a metal rod against a hanging wheel) and the students go to class.

I go to the faculty room and begin working on whatever I've got going for the day at that point. Sometimes I make visual aids. Sometimes I read /research to figure out what activities I'm going to write into the next module. Sometimes I do stuff for my principal. Sometimes I write on my computer. It just all depends on the day.

Many times throughout the day teachers on their off period will talk to me. I always just turn my attention to them (because one of the biggest parts of this job is forming and maintaining relationships). So I do a lot of chatting -about not really much of anything, it seems. But it feels like a good thing to do -so I do.

At around 11:30 or 11:45 I walk home for lunch. Shareen always cooks lunch and we eat around noon. Then I go to my room and read for a while. Sometimes I fall asleep (no wonder I'm getting chubby -I remind myself of my grandpa, who always took a nap after lunch!)

I walk back to school around 1:00 and continue to work on projects. School is over at 4pm, but teachers all stay til at least 4:30. On Mondays and Tuesdays I teach my remediation class from 4-5pm. So, around 3:30 I go to the room and prepare for class. I put out the snacks for the students and write whatever I need to write on the board, etc. I totally enjoy those classes. The students are great. They usually run to class (which makes me feel good) and seem happy to be there. We have a good time and they seem to be learning (at least I hope they are).

After school, I walk home -usually alone. When I get home, I change clothes and drink a cup of coffee. Sometimes I go sit on the poarch with my host sister. Sometimes I sit in the kitchen with Shareen. After coffee, I either stay downstairs and visit with my host family (if they are around) and play with Anne Furnee (the two-year old). Or, I go to my room and hang out reading, watching a movie, playing computer games, listening to music, coloring, writing, etc. until someone knocks on my door and says "mangan tako!" (let's eat).

I go downstairs and eat dinner with the host fam - Assunta, Benson, Anne Furnee, Shareen, and Bin-Bin. Usually Assunta and Benson eat in shifts because Anne Furnee can be a little bit of a pain at the dinner table, so they take turns.

After dinner, I either sit downstairs and visit with the host fam, or go upstairs and sit in the TV room with them while they watch Tagalog news on TV, or just go to my room and do my thing. It's sad to say that most times I just want to go to my room, but I make an effort to spend time with the family on somewhat of a regular basis. It's just always a challenge with the language barrier. My host sister speaks pretty fluent English, but her husband doesn't, so they speak Kankana-ey in the house.

I usually go to my room for good by around 7:30pm. I do any of the aforementioned activities for my evening entertainment and go to sleep anywhere from 9pm - midnight. Usually it's somewhere around 10ish.

Then the alarm goes off at 5:25 and do it all again. Exciting, huh? Yeah . . . I feel ya.

On the weekends I usually go into Baguio and do some shopping and internet and maybe see a movie or something.

Life in Kapangan is very slow-paced and laid back. There's not a whole lot of anything except people and chickens and dogs and a few carabao and cows and lots of rice fields, mountains, flowers, flowering trees, and various other natural resources.

If you feel bored after reading this blog . . . well . . . hehe . . . welcome to my world!

Goodbye Lensan

2005-11-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

So the past couple weeks were filled with tears and sorrow, but things are getting better now.

Lensan Leon, my supervisor's 2 year old son, died of brain cancer on November 5, 2005. He would have been 3 on December 22. The wake and rosary and burial and meals were quite an experience. He laid in the living room for 4 days before he was buried. Everything took place at home. He died on the sofa. Was bathed and moved to a bed in the living room. Was embalmed in the living room. Was placed in a little pine coffin on day 3 in the living room. And finally, was buried in a tomb in the back yard.

People were there at the house 24/7, sitting beside him, talking to him, touching him, singing, praying, crying, laughing, eating, drinking, and telling stories. The custom is for the family to feed all the people as long as they are there. They butchered 10 pigs and a cow! I was there most of the time. My supervisor wanted me there and my host sister encouraged me to stay. I'm glad I did. It was an experience I will never forget. What struck me the most, is how they honor their dead and how personal and real death is. It's like right in your face. Even the little children, his playmates, were there, touching him, talking to him, talking about him, trying to make sense of why he wasn't waking up and playing with them.

On the fourth day, they had a mass and a service for him there at home. Lensan's father, the mayor of Kapangan, spoke and cried. Lensan's mother, my supervisor, spoke, cried, and sang a song. And Lester, the oldest brother, also spoke, cried, and performed a song that he composed for and about Lensan. It was the most touching and tearful event I have attended in a long time.

And at the same time it was very respectful and honoring of a precious little boy who died way too young. So, goodbye little Lensan. No more pain. No more suffering. May you rest in peace.

You can see some pictures of Lensan and his funeral at http://aaa.textamerica.com/ .

More pics . . .

2005-11-03T19:14:00.000-08:00

So I posted a few more pictures on Autumn and Austin's blog. You can see them at: http://aaa.textamerica.com/

Let's see . . . the one of Julie and Jody and I in a taxi was taken just while ago as we rode from La Trinidad into Baguio. Jody lives in La Trinidad and Julie lives 12 hours from here in NE Luzon.

The boyscout campfire was taken when I went to Mt. Province to visit Teri last week. The boyscouts were having an intitiation at the school and invited us to come. In the picture, the boys are doing a native dance around the campfire and playing "lids" because they didn't have any native gongs to play. The music they made was amazing, though.

The pictures of Besao, Mt. Province I snapped out the window of the bus before I left there at 6:30 am. The two ladies squatting in the foreground were funny. One was working hard pulling weeds and the other just sat and talked. Her job: be a companion. She was doing it well. The weather was awesome. I had to sleep under three blankets at night!

The pictures of the workshop were at my school. I did a workshop for the teachers on Group Development and Teambuilding during semester break. It went really well. They all had fun because I would lecture very briefly and then have an activity. Basically, they played together all day - and had a ball. I have to make one disclaimer, though. In the picture where I'm standing in front of the visual aids, well, I didn't make that poster . . . I just had to say that! . . . I really do know how to spell "knowledge" hehe :-)

And finally, the picture of the two tombs and the candle were taken last Monday. I went to Cayapas (a far flung baranguay) with, Jane, a co-teacher, and spend a couple nights with her and her family and celebrated "All Saint's Day" with them. The fellow in the orange t-shirt is a seminary student. He hiked around to all the family tombs in the baranguay and said prayers and blessed the tombs. It was a nice ceremony. Then we ate rice, chicken, dog, and mountains of macaroni salad. Good times.

So, what'll it be?...

2005-11-01T22:08:00.000-08:00

One thing that sucks about living here sometimes is that there's no one to share the absolute hilarity of certain situations. Here's one example: The other day I was sitting at the kitchen table in my host home. Shareen put the food on the table and I notice that our viande (the food you eat with rice) is fried fish - but, it's only the fish heads and tails. No centers. So I say, "What'll it be - heads or tails?!?" And then I laugh - and look around - and realize that everyone at the table is just looking at me with stone sober faces. They clearly didn't see the humor. I made it worse by trying to explain about our coins having "Heads" and "Tails" and how we flip them . . . but about midway through I realized that they didn't see the humor, they just wanted to eat. Nevermind.

Okay, so another thing that happened recently. I was walking into Baguio from the bus station and I realized that I needed to use the restroom. I remembered having seen a big sign near the park that says CLEAN CR (comfort room). I walked over and decided to check it out. The lady sitting out front at the table was collecting the money - so I asked her how much? She said "Are you going to deficate or urinate only?" I couldn't believe my ears! I said, "WHAT?" She looked up at me with an expression that said "don't you understand English?" and said "Are you going to POOH?" I just lost it! I cracked up laughing and explained that no, I would only be urinating today, and she handed me 5 squares of tissue and a ticket and charged me 5 pesos. I was dying!! I was laughing so hard, but, once again, no one else saw the humor. Then she turned to the man beside me and asked him, "Will you pooh?" I just shook my head. So Funny!

So much has been going on and I have so little time to write (as usual!) I took a little trip to Mountain Province this past week and had a great time. I visited Teri, a volunteer in Besao and also saw Nancy (a volunteer in Bontoc) Peyton (a volunteer in Nueva Viscaya) and Dan (a volunteer in Sagada). One of the highlights of the trip was one day Teri, Peyton, and I hiked over a mountain from Besao to Segada in the rain. It was about an hour and a half hike - up hill. I thought I was going to die from exhaustion - but it was great! When we got across the top we came to a road and walked about 20 minutes and then a pickup pulled over and stopped so we climbed in the back. There wasn't anything to hang onto, the bed was soaking wet, and we were bouncing around like crazy! But riding down that rocky, bumpy road in the back of that truck having my insides shuffled and getting soaked by the rain, I had one of those "aha" moments when I realized (and even said out loud) "I am loving my life right now!"

It really is the little moments that have to be cherished. I've talked a lot about how this experience feels like being on a roller coaster (emotionally) - and it does. But as long as I can keep remembering to stop and appreciate the little moments - it will all be okay.

Well, wish I had more time but I have to go catch the last jeepney to Kapangan.
Remember to enjoy the little things :-) Love to all.

Blogging, BDay, and Etc.

2005-10-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

Lately I have had very limited time at the internet and when I have been there, I have been rushed and felt uninspired, so no new blogs. I’m writing from home this week because I really do want to keep sharing this experience.

Last Wednesday was my birthday. Some highlights were . . .
*Opening packages from my girls on birthday morning. What fun! Lots of pics! Lots of goodies!
*Then, at school during the morning flag ceremony, the entire student body sang Happy Birthday to me :-)
*Later, I made three pans of brownies using the oven in the HomeEc room and shared with staff and host family (thank you, Melissa!)
*Around 11am the teachers cooked lunch for me, we ate, and they sang another song.
*And finally, the icing on the brownies was getting to talk to all of my kids and two dear friends! Thanks guys!

Turns out that turning 45 in a far-off place doesn’t have to be traumatic. Kind and caring people make all the difference. Big love to all.

Another cultural experience . . .
A couple weeks ago I went to church with host family for St. Michael’s Feast day, a special celebration. Everything was held outside. I estimate attendance at 500+. Lines with hundreds of colored plastic bags tied to them criss-crossed above our heads. Quite festive! First, mass was held. Merienda followed. (Vendors had booths set up for people to purchase all sorts of goodies). Then it was time for the program to start, but it didn’t. We waited – and waited –and waited. Finally, word spread that the power was off - no sound system. Soon it came back on, so . . . on with the show. In true Filipino style, the program was teachers, students, and community members performing songs, dances, and karate exhibitions. In between the “intermissions” people spoke. The keynote speaker was the governor of Benguet, but his Ilokano speech was wasted on me.

After the program we all lined up for food. Students in one line, adults in another. At the front of the line we each received a paper plate covered with a plastic bag. On top of the bag were two cups of cooked rice and a cup of pancit (noodles) on top of the rice with three bites of pork on the side. We all sat around the churchyard and ate our rice and noodles with our hands. The plastic bag made a perfect doggie bag. I felt so Filipino.

Americans in Baguio . . .
Last Saturday some other PCVers came to Baguio to celebrate October bdays. We ate good food, saw a movie (traveling pants chick flick), sang videoke, and went Duck Pin Bowling. Ever heard of DPB? It's pretty cool. Was like stepping in a time machine and stepping out in 1963. The bowling lanes were wooden and warped (each about 3-4 ft wide). The pins were shorter and fatter than regulation pins. And the balls were botche balls (no holes - softball size - heavy). No automatic pin-setting machine. Guys sat behind the lanes and reset the pins and returned the balls manually. It was cool because you could watch their feet and hands - sometimes they came close to getting shattered bones! The smell in the place was musty and sort of foreign (but not fishy!) I think a good time was had by all. I know I enjoyed it :-)

Working at the school . . .
Finally started teaching the remedial reading class that I've been writing modules for. We started on Monday. The class will meet every Mon and Tues from 4-5. We have 30 students. One of the biggest challenges is getting them to talk - and then hearing what they say when they do talk. They speak SO softly - and with their filipino accents, I really struggle with hearing and understanding them. I hate to always be in their faces asking them to please repeat. Maybe as they get use to having the "American" teacher, they will feel less shy and will speak a little louder. We'll see. So far, though, it's fun and I'm enjoying it.

Well, guess I'll close for now. I'm actually at the internet place now. I added to this partially written blog when I got here. So, life is good this week. Hope all is bright and happy with you!

A Few New Pics

2005-09-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys! Just a quick note to say that I'm posting a few more pics on Autumn and Austin's blog. You can check them out at: http://aaa.textamerica.com/

Hello "BER" Months - HoHoHo

2005-09-29T20:25:00.000-07:00

Not until I came to the Philippines had I ever heard September, October, November, and December referred to as the "BER" months (as in burr, it's chilly!) That's what they're called here in the North, though. The truth is, it's not REALLY cold - it's just that there isn't a word for "cool" in the languages, so it's either Hot (manatung) or Cold (tugin). But you would think it was freezing the way people wrap up in coats and hats.

And . . . guess what? Besides being the "cold" season . . . it's also Christmas season!

No pre-season warm-up; let's just dive right into Christmas!-

-September (forget about indian summer days and anticipating Autumn)
it's merry christmastime!
-October (no red and golden leaves - no football - no Halloween)
nevermind that . . . have a joyous christmas :-)
-November (no Thanksgiving - no pumpkin pie)
anyway. . . happy christmas
-December (no frigid days - no one's ever seen snow - no family)
oh well, merry chr. . . WHATever.
it sucks.

Sorry to be a downer - it's just the way it feels.

But, it's not REALLY Christmas yet - and whenever it is, that just means that I'll be that much closer to coming home for a visit (looking at May for my mid-service family and friend fix!)

So, enough of all that. Today is the last day of September and I have lots of good things to look forward to. Like turning 45 in a few days . . . 45? Oh MY! Well . . . at least I've got my health - even if my youth just managed to slip away . . . :-) In this country, anyone over the age of 30 is considered old, so pass me a Geritol and walking stick!

Well, I think I'll just stop before I really depress myself completely!!

Life really is okay here. Fun at times. Frustrating at times. Sad at times. Satisfying at times. Just like back home. Most of all it's an adventure - a discovery of another way of life - a discovery of myself experiencing another way of life. Mostly it's good. I'm happy to be here. And I love and miss you all.

highlights from manila and pst2

2005-09-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

hello! so were you wondering if i would ever update this blog? it's been almost a month. i've been out of town for the past three weeks and away from internet. but i'm back now :-)

i went to manila for the technical part of our volunteer training. actually, i went to manila for some r & r with other pcvs and then onto silang, cavite for our training.

the training was held at a woodsy place called the "international institute of rural reconstruction". it is a facility built specifically for international trainings and is in a very natural setting with lots of trees, flowers, and bushes. very peaceful.

one highlight of the trip was the weekend between the two weeks of training. last sunday several of us decided to take a little trip to one of the tourist sites in the area. we actually climbed a volcano! mt. taal is an active volcano that sets in the middle of a lake. we took a banca (boat) out to the volcano and then climbed to the top. i loved it. at the top you can see inside the crater of the volcano where there is another body of water that looks like another lake - but if you look closely, you'll see that it bubbles and boils in places, and when the breeze blows across the water you can feel the heat. it was pretty awesome.

let's see . . . what else? pst2 - that stands for pre-service training 2. it is actually the second part of our training. the first part was pst1 - cultural and language training. the past three months at site we were all suppose to be just observing and forming relationships - getting integrated into our communities and worksites. now, after this training, we are supposedly fully prepared to do our projects. yeah, right. oh well, what the heck, i'll give it a shot.

part of our training was going to a high school in cavite and talking with the teachers and scheduling a workshop for them. then, we had to go back and prepare a workshop according to what they said they wanted to learn and present it the next week. it went pretty well. there were five pcvs in my group. the teachers at our high school wanted workshops on math, science and english. three pcvs did the math and science workshop and then julia and i gave a workshop to the english teachers. we presented speaking exercises and reading comprehension strategies and made several visual aids for them to use. i learned a lot and the teachers seemed to be pleased, so i guess it was successful. the best part was just going through the motions and making the materials and doing the presentation and then learning things to do differently next time. at least that's what felt most helpful to me.

okay, it's after midnite right now and i'm really tired so i'm going to wrap it up and go to sleep. i'll try my best to update more than once a month . . . but i'm not making any promises. we'll just see how it goes. take care and know you're in my thoughts. love and best wishes to all!

Foundation Day Festivities

2005-08-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Monday, August 22nd was Kapangan Central National High School’s fifth year anniversary, so we had a “short program” (in quotes because it lasted from 8:30am until 12:30 pm –counting the mass we had before the program began). Festivals, celebrations, programs, etc. are some of the residuals from the 333 years of Spanish control of the Philippines. They love to celebrate –and celebrate they do! So, here’s the short version of Foundation Day: We had our usual flag raising ceremony at 7:30. After that, we practiced the songs we would all sing together during the mass. Around 8:00 I was taken to the H.E. (home-ec bldg) to meet the priest. There I found him, the baranguay capitan, and some PTCA members drinking coffee and eating sticky rice. I was encouraged to join them, which I did. After coffee and chit chatting, it was time for mass.

There were probably 500 people in attendance. That morning GMA had declared a National Holiday (don’t remember what for) so all govt. entities (including public schools) were closed. So, all the teachers from the elementary school across the street came, along with many other people in the community.

After mass, the program began. First we sang the Benguet Hymn, followed by opening remarks made by one of our teachers. Next, a teacher read the history of the school. After that, the “numbers” began. (Numbers is in quotes because it’s a term that Filipinos are fond of using to describe entertainment). The students performed by grade levels and also different organizations. They sang, danced, and performed skits. The PTCA officers sang three songs and accompanied themselves on the guitar, ukulele, and a home-made, upright, single-string bass (the base of it was a fuel can laid on it’s side –the neck was a piece of wood). The leader of this group was the baranguay capitan because he is also the PTCA president. The faculty all sang a song, too –“Heal the World” (slow ballads and love songs rule in this country!) Interspersed among the numbers were the speakers. Fortunately, I was first so I was able to get my part finished so I could relax. I felt really nervous. But, I did it. I opened my speech with a few lines of Kenkana-ay, and then switched to English. In closing, I switched back to Kenkana-ey to announce that I was going to sing a song, and they loved it. I began singing the song that my host sister had composed (in Kenkana-ey) for me. The guitarist stood up behind me and accompanied me and shockingly, it all went smoothly! The crowd was extremely appreciative. Even though I felt stressed about doing it, I was happy that I did and it all turned out well. The other two speakers were the baranguay capitan and the principal from the elementary school across the street.

After the program was over at 12:30, all the faculty, PTCA, and special guests went to the HE to eat. The menu was: Rice, 3 heads of chicken (what they call live chickens they cook) pancit (rice noodles with a few veggies mixed in) chocolate (don’t let the name fool you, it’s the chicken blood cooked with banana blossoms in it) and last but not least, dog. Although I did not eat any dog, a large platter sat in front of me during the meal, so I was able to get a good look. They take the intestines, wash them with soap, cook and chop the inner organs and mix with blood, and stuff the intestines and then cut them in about 1 inch chunks. YumYUM :-)

After lunch, they all started talking about songs from Oklahoma. The bgy. capt., principal, bgy. officials, and other PTCA members ended up getting their instruments, playing music, singing, and drinking gin (only the men) in the HE all afternoon. Only in the Philippines! I stayed there and sang with them, along with a couple other teachers. They sang some Filipino, Kenkane-ay, and Ilokano songs, but mostly they sang old country music tunes.
I knew many of the words.
It was nice.
It rained like crazy.
The electricity went off.
And it didn’t make a bit of difference.
It was a celebration.
And celebrate we did!

Life in Kapangan

2005-08-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't really felt much like blogging lately and I'm wondering why. I'm thinking it's because life is starting to feel "normal" (sort of) and I kind of just overlook little things that happen that may seem "foreign" or interesting to you guys. Also, life is just pretty routine and laid back here - so not a whole lot of excitement really goes on.

But here are a few blips from the Philippines since I last wrote.

Update on Lensan: He had to have emergency surgery on Tuesday, rather than on Thursday when it was scheduled because he was talking nonsense. They did the surgery to remove the tumor. They found out that it was only about 6 weeks old and that it was already 5x6 centimeters (about the size of the palm of a small adult's hand). It is located in the occipital region which controls the motor functions (thus his problems walking) and that it is cancerous. They could not remove it all, so if he survives til age 3 they will do chemo then and cobalt at age 5 (if he's still here). My supervisor has taken a month leave from work. It's just really sad. Thanks so much for your prayers and good thoughts.

Another tragedy this week. One of my coworkers, Miss Nellie Agiao, (teachers always address each other by their marital status and last name) had a female cousin, age 35, go into Baguio General Hospital to have varicose vains repaired this week - so she could go work abroad as a nurse - she had already passed all the medical exams, etc. She had the surgery and was dismissed. She was standing on the street hailing a taxi to go home from the hospital and she dropped dead. Just like that. No autopsy was done. Incredible. She is being buried tomorrow.

Okay, so enough morbidity. On a lighter note, we are having a Foundation Day program at our school on Monday. It's to celebrate our school's fifth anniversary. Anyway, I have been talked into giving an speech AND singing a song! Oh my, I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed . . . oh yes I do, I was thinking - that's what Peace Corps Volunteers do, right? We embarrass ourselves for the sake of entertaining our host country nationals. Oh yeah. Anyway, about the song. My host sister actually composed a song in Kenkana-ey for me to sing. It's all about the school. One of the teachers will be accompanying me on the guitar. Oh my. I'll just do it and make the best of it - yikes :-o !

So, we had our first official typhoon the week after I got back from Manila. It was only a signal 1, which is the weakest category, but it was a taste of what a typhoon is. We had about three days of heavy rain and winds. I actually really enjoyed it. I love stormy weather. If we have a signal 2 typhoon then schools are dismissed. We still could. Typhoon season goes through September, I think.

It's rice planting season right now, so I have been enjoying seeing the farmers in the fields behind the carabaos plowing and preparing the fields. They plow a field that is floating in water. And then after they get all the weeds out, they plant the rice. The seeds have already been grown into seedlings, so they are little green shoots when they go in the ground. The fields look so pretty when they're finished. Nice little green shoots all lined up like little soldiers standing at attention in a water-flooded field.

Okay, so guess that's it for now. Need to go write a speech. Hope all is well with all of you. Take care and enjoy a bubble bath for me this week!

Mostly Manila . . . and a prayer request

2005-08-06T04:12:00.000-07:00

I went to Manila last Saturday with some other PCVs and participated in a Volunteer Forum. We stayed until Wednesday. It was my first trip back to Manila since we arrived in country on April 1, so it was nice to get a little more familiar with the capital city.

Some of the highlights were:
-Reuniting with some PCVs that I hadn’t seen since early April
-Eating some really great food
-Going to the Peace Corps offices
-Seeing more of the city
-Riding the LRT
Some things I could have done without:
-Run-in with a rat
-Dishonest cabbies and such
-Supervisor’s bad news

Highlight details:
Reuniting . . . When we first arrived in country we were 80. The 80 were dispersed in groups of 20 to four different regions of the country –Northern and Southern Luzon, Eastern and Western Visayas. As you know, I’m in the North. This week I got to see seven volunteers from Southern Luzon and two from Western Visayas. Swapping stories of our training, swearing-in, and sites helped fill in the gaps. Because this is such a unique life experience and since we’ve all been through so many similar situations that are also totally different – the reunion was a sweet treat.
Eating . . . Manila is huge – like 8 million or so people. Lots of great food there. We ate Korean (with metal chopsticks-and I did surprisingly well) – Thai food twice – Mediterranean – Excellent chicken & mango sandwich – and some yummy German white chocolate and macadamia nuts. – Naimus! – Mamis! – Sarop! (Ilokano, Kenkana-ey, Tagalog) Delicious in all the Filipino languages I know.
Going . . . Visiting the PC offices was good because I was able to pick up a few books for work –and a package from my folks and a letter from Elanor . . . yippee!
Seeing . . . The city is huge so it was nice to go around with some volunteers who had been there several times. In addition to our group, there were also PCVs from batches 263 and 262 (we’re 264). So part of the time I ran around with a couple who are fluent in Tagalog and know the city. Far less frightening that way.
Riding . . . The LRT is the elevated train. Even though it was very crowded, it’s nice because there is a car just for women. And I only saw ONE male passenger among the hundred or so women in it! And yes, I watched my bag carefully.

Downer details:
Run-in . . . Well, at least I can laugh about this one, so it’s not a total downer. Saturday night I was walking down the sidewalk with other PCVs, trying to avoid stepping on the people asleep on sheets of cardboard. All of a sudden, a rat came out of the drain and ran straight towards me – and we collided. He ran up my leg and I hopped around squealing like a wild-woman! I could feel his little claws on my shin – eek! It was funny, though, because I knew he wanted to escape me just as bad as I wanted to lose him. Finally, we parted ways and were both relieved, I’m sure. Whew!
Dishonest . . . Cab drivers in Manila have a reputation for being dishonest, unlike cab drivers in Baguio who have a reputation for honesty. So far, they’ve all lived up to their reps. Didn’t get ripped off, but did get out of a couple cabs prematurely. The first one stopped to get gas when he was about six blocks from our destination and refused to turn off the meter. We just paid him and walked from there. The second cabbie wanted to charge us meter plus 50 pesos – NO! I said. Okay, meter plus 30p –NO! I said. Okay, nevermind, get out of my cab. Fine. Jerk. We got out and climbed into another cab. That guy argued about where the bus station was. Told us there wasn’t one where we told him to go. Said that it was way out in another suburb –even though we knew where it was. Finally, I said –just take us to Taft and Edsa. So he did. And let us out right in front of the bus station. Whatever. Then, when I opened the car door to get out, another fellow had squatted down by the door where I couldn’t see him so the door would hit him when I opened it. I felt it hit him, got out of the car and said, Sorry, didn’t see you there. He was rolling around acting like he was really hurt (which he wasn’t) and was screaming “One Dollar! One Dollar!” Yeah, right. Not today buddy.

Finally . . . this last one is truly a downer with no levity whatsoever. My supervisor, Dr. Aurora Leon, is a 39-year old mother of four. She is the principal of my school and married to the mayor of Kapangan. I can’t say enough about how nice and smart she is. (By education she is a chemical engineer). Her children range in ages from17 to 2 yrs. 8 mos. old. Last week, the two-year old went to the hospital to have tests for meningitis because he was having trouble walking. Apparently, he has been sickly since he was born. While I was in Manila, his test results came back and he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He has had a surgery to install a shunt already and will have the major surgery to remove the tumor next week. They don’t know what they will find, but it doesn’t look good. Simply horrifying. My host sister, Assunta, is Aurora’s sister and she isn’t handling the news well at all. The family is praying for a miracle. They are also requesting that others pray, too. The boy’s name is Lensan Leon. If you are inclined to pray, please remember little Lensan and the Leon family.

Life is so precious . . . and so uncertain. No guarantees. I’m so thankful for my loved ones.
Loving and missing you all and wishing I were there to give hugs all around. xoxo

Flu, Family, and Joke of the Day

2005-07-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

Nantrancasa ak ci dua ay agew! Translation: I had the flu for two days! On Monday, I went to school even though I had a headache all day. I just kept popping Ibuprofen. But Tuesday morning I woke up with chills and I felt like my head was going to explode. I took my temp with one of the little Tempa-DOT thermometer strips in my med kit. It was 102. I called the PC Dr. and was told to take Tylenol every 4 hrs. and watch for any rashes (a sign of denge fever). Luckily, by Wednesday afternoon I was feeling better and was able to get cleaned up and dressed. My host sister wouldn’t let me take a cold bath. She heated water for me on the stove (how wheeet :-). Went back to school today.

Did I mention that I really enjoy this amalgamated host family? Assunta, Benson, Anne Furnee, BinBin, Shareen, and now me. It’s cool, because they seem to be the perfect match for me. Assunta and Benson are both 42. They didn’t marry until they were 35. They didn’t get pregnant so they adopted Anne Furnee (who is now 2 yrs. old). BinBin (who is 12 yrs. old) is from La Trinidad, but his family situation was abusive so he’s come here to live. His younger brother is staying with Benson’s sister. Shareen (who is 15 yrs. old) is from Ifugao, near the Banaue rice terraces. She takes care of Anne Furnee, cleans, and cooks. She and I have really hit it off. I seem to have a soft spot for teenage girls. Last weekend she asked me to pick up a few things for her when I went to Baguio. She gave me money and a list. When I got home she had totally cleaned and organized my room and put fresh flowers on my desk. Today, when I came home for lunch, she had fixed me a fresh flower arrangement and left me a note that said:

:-) To make your day wonderful start your day with a smile :-)
The way to 2 make people smile is like this . . . read my joke baby!!!

“People says that you must to face ur problem but how can you face your problem if ur problem is ur face . . .
Ha! …. Ha! … Ha! … Ha! :-)
funny or not – this is the joke 4 2day”

Needless to say, it worked. I smiled. And I giggled. And I told it to the teachers, who all knew it already, but thought it was funny that I was so amused by it. And still, I laughed some more.

Life just feels better with laughter. (Especially when you’ve been flu-sick and homesick all in the same week.) Hope you are laughing everyday and remembering not to sweat the small stuff. Take care. And grins and giggles to you all!

Slow Week

2005-07-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

This week was a slow, rainy week with not much excitement. Friday was Cordillera Day, so we didn't have classes. I came into Baguio City to get mail and do internet. Ended up going to a movie with my friend, Jody. She is posted in La Trinidad, the neighboring city to Baguio. We went and saw "War of the Worlds" - woohoo. The funny thing about going to the movies here is that you can enter the movie theater 30-40 minutes before the movie begins and they are already playing previews of upcoming movies. What's even funnier is that we watch them - and are entertained! Guess that's what happens when you live without television for a few months.

My big mission for today is to find a new umbrella. I found out this week that the umbrella that I bought in Nueva Vizcaya isn't really for the rain - it's only meant to be used to keep the sun off. Apparently, all Filipinos know that the small umbrellas are for sun and the large umbrellas are for rain. It's the little things that I find out as I go that keep me shaking my head. Just makes me wonder how many other things I am unaware of doing that entertain my Filipino counterparts. I'm beginning to think that I'm not paranoid . . . they really ARE laughing at me most of the time! :-)

My host sister and I had a conversation this week that was pretty amusing to me. I was asking her how to say things in Kenkane-ey and I asked her how to say "How was your day?" She said, "We really don't ask that."
You don't? Why not?
Mostly because we really don't care.
You don't care?
No, not really. Only if someone did something special like go to a wedding.
But don't you ask just to make small talk and to connect with your husband when he gets home?
No.
No?
Oh, then what do you think when I ask you how your day was?
Why is she asking me that?
I guess I ask because it's what I do in America. It's a way of making a connection with someone I care about when we come together at the end of the day.
Oh, we just say, let's eat.

So everyday I am discovering more cultural differences - and discovering just how truly American I am. And that's been pretty interesting. Okay, enough for now. Have a great week! Later.

Woops!

2005-07-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the last hour of the day I was sitting in the library with three teachers. They were teaching me how to say some different things in Kenkane-ey and laughing at my pronunciation. Finally, it was time to go home so I told them goodbye and left. As I was walking toward the office, I passed two other teachers. I thought "I'll practice my Kenkane-ey". So I said what I thought was "we'll see each other tomorrow". "Oman ilo ta sibigot!" I said (with heart and enthusiasm). Immediately they burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" I asked. The female teacher said, " You meant to say 'Oman illa ta sibigot'". Turns out, I had just told them "We'll wipe our bottoms tomorrow!" pretty funny, huh? :-) I thought so -and so did they!

Life is still good. Not much new going on in Kapangan. I'm in Baguio today because my supervisor and I made courtesy calls to the Provincial Superintendent and to the Governor today, but the Governor wasn't in. It's interesting to me how it is not customary in this country to make appointments. Never. People don't call ahead. They just show up. That is standard practice. I suppose it goes along with the idea that time is abundant and if we don't get it done today, there is always tomorrow - or next week - or whenever. Oh well.

Hope all of you had a happy Independence Day. Here , the fourth was U.S. - Philippine Friendship Day. But no celebrations. Business as usual. So, no holiday for me. No problem. Life is good.

Well, gonna cut out of here. Take care and God bless.

Brighter Days

2005-07-01T18:05:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, 28 June 05. I realized today that I am feeling better –not so lonely or blue. School this week has been pretty uneventful. I’ve just been working in the library, going through boxes and counting books. In one of the boxes yesterday I encountered the biggest cockroach I have ever seen. I had taken all the books out of the box and then I noticed this roach that was probably an inch and a half long in the corner of the box. I was looking at it in, amazed, when it flew out of the box and toward me! I squealed and jumped and hopped around. The librarian laughed, but I’m not sure she understood why I was so freaked.

Random Thoughts

01July05
Today is “Flyday”. That’s what all the teachers here call Friday. I just say “Thank God”.

Kinda funny when I’m lying in bed at night, listening to all the crowing and barking in the dark and I look up and see fireflies flying overhead – inside my room!

Saturday, 02July05
Yesterday the science teacher wanted to know if I know “The Microscope Rap”.
What?
Yes, it was written by an American! Do you know it?
Uhhhh, not that I can recall.
I will show it to you – it’s in my book.
Okay. Yep, there it is, big as day. So, it’s a rap about how to use microscopes. Hmmm.
So, do you know it? You will perform it for my classes on Monday. Yes?
Uhhh. I will?
Yes, you will.
Okay, sure.
Yes, and you will teach all the students to do it with you.
Okay, sure . . . would be happy to . . .

And so it goes. What kind of American am I anyway? Didn’t even know the Microscope Rap! Shameful. Shameful I tell you. And shameless. Shameless is what I’ll be on Monday. Hehe!

A Few Things . . .

2005-07-01T18:01:00.000-07:00

A few things that tickle me . . .
Tree covered mountains behind my school
A nice walk to work
Yummy food cooked by someone else
Someone to wash my laundry (for pay, of course)
My own room in a clean house
A view of rice terraces out my window
Passing carabaos on the way to school
Eating fruits and veggies I’ve never seen before
Remembering how to say something in Kenkane-ay
Smiles with lots of missing teeth

A few things I could live without . . .
Roosters crowing at all hours
Dogs barking at all hours
Flying insects in my room

A few things I miss . . .
Showers (and not rain showers – we get plenty of those!)
Ice
Diet Coke
Brownies
Paper towels
Convenient internet access
Being listened to (by someone who gets me)

Of course I miss my grandson and my kids like crazy – if I ponder all that I’m missing I feel terribly sad. And I miss my soul friends and loved ones – incredibly.

Life here is different. It’s pleasing in many unique ways, but it feels oh so very foreign. Most of the time I feel like I’m living inside someone else’s life – just borrowing it while I try it on for a while. And at the same time I’m distanced from life back home – the combination makes for a very surreal experience. Sometimes exciting. Sometimes boring. Sometimes, just plain lonely.
And still, I feel thankful for it all.

Bummed Out

2005-06-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm really bummed. I wrote some blog entries this week and some emails and then managed to leave the diskette at my site. Big drag.

This week was my loneliest so far. I think that since I'm in a new place and having to make so many adjustments that I'm really missing home. I realized this week that I really miss being listened to by someone who "gets me". I miss having people to download my day with. My Filipino counterparts and host family are beautiful people, but they don't understand where I'm coming from. They don't get my sense of humor or sarcasm. I miss giggling and cracking funnies. Oh well. It's all part of the gig. Awan ti problemma.

Hey, if any of you guys actually want to write me a letter (which would be really cool by the way) try this address. It's where i'm living. The other address will get to me via the PC pouch, but it will be delayed.
Tracy Henning
c/o Benson & Assunta Amiao
Kap 2613
Central Kapangan, Benguet
Philippines

Came to Baguo and met friends this week. My clustermates all came to town. It was good seeing them again. We had fun shopping and laughing and eating good food. But now, it's Sunday afternoon and they're all gone and it's time for me to go home too and I'm feeling a bit blue. Oh well. Just part of the rollercoaster ride.

Will be sure to bring the diskette with me next time. Maybe my entries will be more interesting. Take care and enjoy America.

Posting Blogs

2005-06-18T21:39:00.000-07:00

So I've decided that since I'm only getting to internet once a week max - that I'll write posts on my computer as things happen during the week and then post them all at once. That's what I did this week. In addition to this short note, I've also posted two other entries that I wrote this week.

Okay, gotta run now. Everything's going well and I'll write more this week. Love to all of you - you're in my heart and on my mind. xoxo

School Stuff and Superstitions

2005-06-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday, June 17, 2005. Last Friday was my first day at my new school, so you might think that I have a week’s worth of school under my belt. Well, not quite. You see Sunday was Independence Day so we didn’t have school on Monday. Understandable. And one of the teacher’s mother died, so classes were cancelled Wednesday afternoon for the funeral. Then Thursday the teachers needed to go to Baguio and register online for their government benefits. No school. And today we only had classes half a day because there was a PTCA (Parent Teacher Community Association) meeting. So, it’s not quite like back home. Oh well. It’s good to just go with the flow . . .

Now about that PTCA meeting, it was surprising on many levels. First of all, the attendance was amazing. The enrollment at our school is 389 students. The meeting was at 1:00 today and there were 176 parents present. Incredible. Another amazing thing was that four different languages were spoken during the meeting, and I’m pretty certain that I’m the only person there who didn’t understand at least three of the four. They spoke Kenkane-ay, Ibaloi, Ilokano, and English (actually, I’m the one who spoke in English whenever I gave my schpeel). And finally, the most amazing part of the meeting was that it lasted until 4:45 – almost four hours – and the people stayed until it was over! Wow. My buns were falling asleep.

Okay, so superstitions. Everyday I learn more about the superstitions of these mountain people and how much they believe them. Today in the faculty room one of the teachers started squealing. We asked her what was wrong and she said that a lizard just jumped out of her shirt. We walked over to her desk and sure enough, there was a lizard on her desk. It didn’t scurry off; it just sat there like it wanted to hang around. The teacher was freaked. She shooed the lizard away and then went to class. While she was gone, I noticed that the lizard returned to her desk and stayed there for a long time. The other teachers said that since the lizard was black that she should go see the witch doctor and that she might need to kill a pig. This evening when I told my host sister the story, she said that it was probably Mila’s mother (the lady who died) coming to visit and if you ever see an insect or small creature acting peculiar, it’s probably a dead person’s spirit so you should never kill it.

Then, she told me about when the newest building at the school was being built. She said that several of the students started acting funny, like they saw something in the sky, and then they fainted. One after another, they were dropping like flies. So, the tribal priest was consulted. He said that it was because they were building the school on the house of some dwarves and that in order to appease the dwarves they would have to make a sacrifice of porcelain plates (because dwarves are very rich and they like very nice things). So, in December they made the offering and after that no more students fainted. “So”, she told me, “it must be true”. Absolutely.

Alright, that’s all for now. Have a good week. Enjoy your American dreams. And don’t step on any bugs. You never know who you may be squashing!

Honoring the Dead

2005-06-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this on Tuesday, 14June05 on my computer at site and will post it this weekend.

Today, after my first full day of school I went with three other teachers to pay respects to Mila Killip, the Home Economics teacher whose mother died on Friday. She is one of the two teachers who I had met last month during my site visit here. This was my first time in the Philippines to visit someone’s home while they were honoring their dead, so I will try to explain how the experience went for me.

First, we walked up the mountain that sits directly behind the school. This is where Mila grew up and has been caring for her mother who was diagnosed with a brain tumor last December. Winding up the side of the mountain is a worn dirt trail covered with pine needles. We treaded slowly, but finally made it to the top.

When we arrived family and friends were gathered outside and within the home, which is a framed house with corrugated tin siding. As the four of us approached, I was third in line. Several Igarots (indigenous mountain people) greeted us when we arrived. We entered the house and saw a simple pine box on a stand that contained Mila’s mother. The portion of the box above her head and shoulders was cut out and was draped with a sheet of clear plastic for viewing. Whenever I entered the house, I followed the other teacher’s lead and sat on the sofa. Mila came over and sat between us and thanked us for coming. We visited with her for a while about how difficult it will be for her without her mother. She is the youngest child and was the closest to her mother.

After a while, a spry native woman who appeared to be in her 80s stood in the middle of the room and addressed Mila and her mother and the rest of the room in Ilokano. She began to sing and talk in a very comforting and soulful tone. She looked on the dead woman and spoke and sang to her. Then she turned to Mila and told her stories of when she was young. Even though I didn’t understand most of her words, I was touched by her caring spirit. The support that she and those who followed showed to Mila was comforting.

Following the woman’s soliloquy, three men spoke and sang in the same manner. They spoke from the heart, but were not as moving as the woman had been. The men were drinking gin and some were drunk, but the women were all sober. After the solos, one of the men played the guitar and we all sang hymns in English. Plastic folders with pages of typed, fading lyrics were passed around. We sang about ten songs.

Before we left, the man who was playing the guitar was singing extemporaneously and he told me, in song, to go look at the dead woman. (He must have noticed that I had avoided viewing her when I walked in). So I did. She looked like a skeleton covered with dark brown skin. Her eyes were sunken into her head. I felt a bit alarmed and disturbed at first, but I stood and looked at her long enough to get over my shock. I don’t think I’ll have bad dreams tonight, but then again, I may. It was almost dark when we left.

The trip down the hill was even trickier than the trek up due to the waning sunlight, steep grade, and slippery pine needles. But we all made it without incident. Thank God it didn’t rain!

Hello Kapangan

2005-06-12T18:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I made it to my site! I arrived in Kapangan last Wednesday, June 8. My supervisor and I took a bus from Solano to Baguio City and her husband and my host brother picked us up there and drove us to Kapangan. It was a long travel day on an unairconditioned bus with no leg room. But, we made it safely, thank God.

On Thursday I stayed at my new host family home and just unpacked and settled in. Friday morning I went to my new school. After singing the national anthem and raising the flag, my principal, Mrs. Aurora Leon, introduced me to the student body and had me say a few words. There are 435 students in the high school and they are all about 4'6 - 5' tall and have black hair and brown skin. It's going to be fun learning all their names!

After the morning assembly, I met all the teachers, including my two counterparts. One is the English teacher and the other is the librarian. They are really nice and I look forward to working with them.

That afternoon, I went to a PTA meeting at the elementary school across the road, because I will probably do volunteer work there as well. The meeting was at 1pm on a Friday and there were 130 parents in attendance! Unbelievable! This community seems to be very supportive of their youth and their schools, so I'm glad for that.

Today is a holiday. Actually, yesterday was Independence Day, so the schools and banks are closed today. I came into Baguio to do some shopping and internet. I will probably get into the city and to internet on the weekends, so look for updates from me about once a week.

I need to go now, because the jeepney leaves for Kapangan at 1pm and I still have to go shopping for rainboots and groceries!

Love to all. Thanks for your emails, letters, and prayers.
:-)

Goodbye Solano

2005-06-05T02:44:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday. Last Thursday I left my host family in Solano. It was a sweet send-off and I will visit them again while I'm here in the Philippines.

There are six kids that live on the compound who I really enjoyed talking with, so on Wednesday afternoon I wrote them each a letter and gave them each a picture of themselves (I had taken several fun shots of them). That evening while I was packing, each one of them came to my room, individually, and gave me a letter that they had written to me. My heart was really touched. I gave Manang Norma a framed 8x10 of her family. She gave me a HUGE bag (with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger on it) filled with houseware items. A blanket, thermos, plate, bowl, cup, glass, spoon, fork, basin, dipper, frying pan, and the list goes on. Then, as if that weren't enough, she gave me two necklaces and a bracelet. Oh Manang Norma . . . what a woman.

After leaving Solano the other PCTs and I all went to NVSU. On Friday I took the dreaded language exam. We didn't get our results until Saturday evening, but I am happy to report that I passed - with the lowest possible passing grade - intermediate low. Hurray! I was thrilled with the outcome! I think I was even happier than Thomas, who scored the very highest - Advanced level. I am just so pleased not to have to test again. Now when I go to my site I can begin learning Kenkan-ey. Woohoo. All nineteen PCTs took the test and all but four passed. I'm really happy to be finished with language exams!

Tomorrow begins our Supervisor's Conference and then tomorrow night is our swearing-in ceremony. We practiced the ceremony this afternoon. It will be a nice event. Together, all the trainees will be performing a tribal dance. We will be all wearing native attire and dancing to gong music. We are also singing a funny song that we wrote about being in the Peace Corps.

Last night we had movie night at the hub. We popped popcorn and watched two movies on the projector: The Criminal (which I slept through) and Motorcycle Diaries (which I loved!) We also made and gave each other superlative awards. I received: Most Likely to Hit Puberty at 50. I love it!

Gotta run, my barcada is leaving. More later!

Posted Pics

2005-05-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

Just a note to tell you that I posted some pictures on Autumn's blog. The address is http://aaa.textamerica.com/

In addition to seeing a few of my pictures, you can also see some of my BEAUTIFUL grandson!!

Handog and Prayers

2005-05-30T20:29:00.000-07:00

We had our going away "Handog" for our host families last Saturday. A handog is a party or celebration in honor of some special event. All of the trainees and our host families met at NVSU on Saturday morning. We played games - musical chairs, island hop, rock-paper-scissors tournament, line basketball with wadded paper, and water-balloon toss. Filipinos LOVE to play games and are very competitive. It was fun.

After the games, we had speeches and certificate presentations. Each cluster chose one host family member to speak on behalf of that cluster's host families. Our cluster chose Manang Norma, my host sister. She was funny. Whenever I asked her if she would mind speaking briefly at our handog she said, "Oh of course I will. I have already prepared an outline in anticipation that I would be asked to speak." What a woman. Then she told me that she really wanted to go first, so would I please arrange it. Oh my, what a woman. When I got to NVSU, I managed to convince them to rearrange the schedule so that she could speak first. And so it went. She spoke. . . and spoke. . . and spoke. First in English, then Ilokano, then back to English. And finally, she was finished. Like I said . . . what a woman.

That afternoon, she hosted a "thanksgiving prayer meeting" at her house. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced because I'm not Catholic. It was really cool, though. About 25 women gathered in her living room. We sat barefoot on the floor and recited prayers by call and response. Some of them, like the Lord's prayer, were familiar to me. Others were not. But the entire experience was peaceful and calm. On a table in front, there was a statue of Mary with three burning candles. Surrounding Mary were offerings of rice, coconut, boiled eggs, pancit (rice noodles), cooked meat, glasses of water, a San Miguel beer, and a plate of cigarettes. I felt blessed to participate in this ceremony because I could feel the faith of the women as they prayed in unison. It was powerful and I am thankful for it. It was also a time for me to personally reflect on all that I am thankful for - and that's a lot.

It may be a while before I get to post again as this is a busy time. Take care and keep writing. I'll be back ASAP!

Getting Close

2005-05-25T02:10:00.000-07:00

I've been in country for almost two months now and pre-service training is rapidly coming to an end. I'm feeling a mixture of things. On one hand, it feels like I've been here much longer than two months and on the other hand, I can't believe how fast the time has flown.

I feel excited and overwhelmed and nervous and sad and happy . . . all at the same time. I'm really looking forward to life in Kapangan and to all the challenges that working in the High School and in the community will bring. But I also feel anxious about much of my assignment. We don't receive our "technical training" for three months. All the training we have had so far has been in language and community entry skills. This is because for our first three months at site Peace Corps wants us to focus on establishing and developing good relationships with our coworkers and people in our communities. I'm just a bit concerned that my supervisor wants me to "get to work" as soon as I arrive and that I won't have all the knowledge that I need yet. Oh well. I have a feeling that Human Relations degree might come in handy after all :-)

And I'm feeling a bit blue about leaving my cluster mates and the other 15 trainees that are in Northern Luzon. We have had lots of good times together and having each other has really helped with the transition into this place. It's tough enough to be one of four Americans in a community. I have a feeling that being the only one will be interesting. Kind of like living in a fish bowl. Not to mention that internet is at least two hours away (depending on the road). Maybe some of you will write me letters! That would be great.

I also feel sad about leaving my current host family. Mrs. Norma Dalire has been an entertaining and most gracious hostess. She is funny and blunt and kind and compassionate and bold and daring and strong and ornery. Kind of like me. That's probably why I like her so much! And the rest of the people that live in the compound have all become precious to me, too. The other night I was staying at NVSU in Bayombong. Grace, one of the 15 year old girls that lives there texted me to ask "Madam Tracy, when are you coming home?" That just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I will also miss Manang Winnie and Ading Susan. (Manang and ading mean older and younger sister - both are terms of respect.) Winnie and Susan are the house helpers. They cook for me and wash my clothes and get me tricycles in the morning and make sure I have snacks to take with me and help me practice my Ilokano. They speak very little English, so we communicate in more ways than with just words. Mostly we laugh and do hand signs and speak what little of each other's language we know and then laugh some more. I will miss them both. A lot.

So . . . I'm just feeling a mixture of things right now and it's a bit overwhelming. But it's okay. Because, truth be told, I still believe that this was right choice for me and I wouldn't change a thing. Love and miss you all.

Beautiful Banaue Rice Terraces

2005-05-23T02:54:00.000-07:00

Lately one of the biggest challenges for me and my cluster mates has been feeling bored when we aren't doing some scheduled activity and feeling frustated because our activities are mostly directed by someone else. So, yesterday a cluster mate and I decided to go see the Banaue Rice Terraces.

We caught a jeepney at 6am and rode for about two hours into the mountains of Ifugao Province. The road was winding and the jeepneys were crammed full of Filipinos. Whenever I thought "okay, the jeep is full" - we would stop and pick up three more people! People were even riding on top. Whenever they wanted to get off they would bang on the top and the driver would pull over. Needless to say, even the trip there was a cross-cultural experience.

When we arrived in Banaue, we were met by J.R., the son of Paul, our language-cultural-facilitator (LCF). He and his cousin, Clint had a tricycle and were there to be our tour guides (for a fee, of course). It was nice because we knew that we could trust them and that they knew the area, etc. First they took us to the viewpoint at the top of the terraces in Banaue. The view was stunning. These terraces are built with dirt alone, they do not have any walls separating them. They stretch out across the sides of a few mountains and into the valleys. We took pictures at the top, but on those terraces there is no place to walk, so we couldn't get out and "experience" being in the rice.

Next, we had J.R. take us to another group of terraces in a village called Hoppaw. There, the terraces are supported by ancient stone walls that also double as a sophisticated irrigation system that waters all the terraces from the mountain water source at the top of the mountain. It's incredible. In fact, modern engineers have tried to replicate it, but they cannot. Because of the stone walls, people are allowed to walk through the terraces. So that's just what we did. We walked and walked and climbed many flights of rocks and walked and walked. Our destination was a hot spring on the other side of the terraces. It was the middle of the day, so it was extremely hot. I have to say, that there was one point when I said to the others, "You guys go on and I'll wait for you here!" But they wouldn't have it. So, I rested and started walking again. We walked and climbed for about an hour. Finally, we reached our destination. And I must admit, I was disappointed. The hot spring was a pool about seven feet in diameter. There were only a few little bubbles and the water was warm. I thought "ah man, all that sweat for this!?" But then Tom told the guides that he wanted to swim in the river that ran nearby. They told him "Sure, just climb over that wall to the other side." So, I thought, what the heck, might as well. I am so glad I did.

On the other side of the wall as a roaring river flowing over big boulders into a beautiful pool area. When I climbed down that rock wall and felt the water - I was in Heaven! It was so cold and refreshing! The river was beautiful and clear, not to mention being surrounded by beautiful mountains and rice terraces. The view was breathtaking and the water was delicious! I just soaked it up. The sky was bright blue with white puffy clouds. But after we were there about ten minutes or so, the clouds moved in and covered the sun and the weather cooled down. We stayed there and swam for about 20 or 30 minutes. Then we walked back under nice cloud cover and with a cool breeze fanning us along. I'm so happy that I didn't give up whenever I wanted to. I'm so thankful that they encouraged me to just keep moving - no matter how slow. It was totally worth all the heat and discomfort of the trek.

I must say, it turned out to be an awesome experience and a great break from the boredom!

Gotta run. Love to all. Keep writing - your emails and letters keep me going! Thanks.

Kenkane-ay or Iboloi?

2005-05-14T19:49:00.000-07:00

So, I met my supervisor. The first question she asked me was "So, will you be learning Iboloi or Kenkane-ay first?" I said "Uh, Ilokano?" And she said "No, we speak Iboloi and Kenkane-ay - so I think Kenkane-ay will be best for you to learn first."

Oh boy. Here I go. I only thought I was making headway on my language acquisition! Oh well. It will be fine.

About my supervisor:
My supervisor is the principal of the high school where I will be working - Kapangan Central National High School. She is 39 years old and really sharp. She is married to the mayor who is loved by everyone in the community. She is a really pleasant woman and has a good sense of humor. She and her husband took me to their house where I spent the first night. She wanted me to see how they live. They have four children. Their oldest son (age 16) was actually enrolling in college the first day I met her (students graduate HS at age 16 here - they have no middle school). They have a daugher who is 15 and goes to the HS where I will work. They have a nine- year old son in grade six at the elementary and a son who is three years old and seems to be the "commander-in-chief" in their house. They are very family oriented and have a nice house. Yet, their privy and shower are outside. I'm glad that I stayed with them one night because it did give me a feel for their family dynamics and values. My impression was very positive.

About my worksite:
I will be working at Kapangan Central National High School. It is just a walk (about 8 blocks or so) away. The campus is pretty nice compared to many high schools I have seen. They actually have a small library, but none of the books are catalogued or labeled. One of my projects will be to organize the library. My other project is to develop a remedial English program for first year high school students who are struggling in English. The class will meet twice a week after school and will probably begin in August or Septemeber. I am excited about my work projects and look forward to meeting all the teachers. Most of the teachers were gone to seminar this week, so I only met two teachers. They were both women in their 20s who have been teaching at the school for about five years. I really enjoyed both of them. They took me around the municipality and introduced me to many people. Then we went and ate pancit (rice noodles) at the oldest / only restaurant in Kapangan. They told me they felt like they had known me for a long time, even though we had just met the day before. I took that as a very good sign.

About my host family:
I will be living with the sister of my supervisor and her husband. They are both 42 years old and are a really pleasant couple. They have a two-year old daughter, Ann Furnee, who is adopted. They also have a 12-year old boy living with them because his family situation was abusive. This says a lot about the kind of people they are - very loving and compassionate. I feel really blessed to be with them. The house is a two-story house. My room is upstairs with two other bedrooms and a den. There is a full-sized upstairs poarch with a beautiful view. I will enjoy that immensely. My host sister is an identical twin and lives right next door to her twin and her family. They have six-year old adopted daughter. They also have a two-year old son who is not adopted. Families here are extremely close. It's nice. The routine seems to be early to bed and early to rise. The roosters start crowing at 3am, so by 5am pretty much the whole family is up. At least that's how it was this week. We'll see. I got a really good feeling about the family situation and am looking forward to living there. Oh, one more thing - my host brother doesn't speak much English (at all) but he's a jokester and he wants to interact and joke with me - so he's trying to teach me Kenkane-ay and I'm helping with his English - seems like it will work out well.

About Kapangan:
Finally, the place I live . . . what can I say? . . . It's a beautiful mountain community with cool weather. The ride from Baguio City to there is a two-hour (extremely) winding dirt road that washes out during the rainy season. However, the view is exquisite. There are rice terraces, vegetable terraces, bougambilia, palm trees, pine trees, water-buffalo, and a big river that was dry when I was there, but will have water when I return in June because the rainy season is beginning now. The community is so peaceful that the judge (a woman) told me they are getting an accomodation for having the least amount of lawsuits. She said that when people come to her courtroom it is only to settle their cases. She rarely has to try a case. Nice. The people from that region are known to be peace loving people and extremely friendly and warm. That's exactly what I felt from them while I was there. So . . . I'm pumped.

Looking forward to winding things up here in Nueva Vizcaya and moving to Kapangan the second week of June. Enough for now. Love to all. Take care and write when you can!

Here in Baguio

2005-05-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hello! I'm writing an update sooner than I thought because I am at an internet cafe in Baguio, waiting to go meet my supervisor at 3:00 this afternoon. It's about 12:30 now.

Our trip here was a piece of cake. I met up with two other volunteers (Jody and Tom) at 6:45 yesterday morning. We were going to catch a bus to Baguio. It just so happened that a private minivan came by the busstop on his way to Baguio. We took a ride with him, which cost 100 pesos less than the bus fare. The van was airconditioned (the bus would not have been.) The van driver took us all the way to our hotel. And we arrived in five hours instead of eight! It was a beautiful thing.

And speaking of beautiful, Kennan Road, the road into Baguio, is famous for its beautiful scenery. It winds through gorgeous mountains and the greenery and flowers are some of the most splendid that I have ever seen. It reminded me a lot of the area near Machu Picchu in Peru, but there aren't any palm trees there. Another beautiful thing is that the more we climbed into the mountains, the more the temperature dropped. We actually felt comfortable walking around town yesterday afternoon! The weather here feels more like Santa Barbara than August in Oklahoma (which is what it feels like in Solano.) I'm hoping it's this nice at my site.

When we arrived around one oclock yesterday afternoon, we checked to our room and then went to McDonalds to eat. Then, we walked to the bus station so that Tom could find a bus to Loag, in Ilocos Norte, which is his site. We found the bus station and found a bus, after wandering around for about 30 minutes asking people where to go and getting sent in different directions. It's always an adventure.

Tom left and then Jody and I met up with two other volunteers who are stationed here in the Baguio area. One is a lady named Joanie who is a year older than me. She will be finished with her service in August. The other volunteer is Chuck, who is 23 and has been here one year. Joanie was on her way to Manila to go to the dentist today, so we had coffee with her and she left.

Then Chuck showed us around Baguio a little bit. We walked to the open market. It was the largest I've been in so far. It was HUGE!! And people were shoulder to shoulder practically everywhere. We were looking for Jody a pair of shower shoes / tcinellas / thongs. It was tough because she is 6'2" and wears a size 11 shoe. Filipinos, for the most part, are small so shoe sizes generally don't go higher than a 10. She got lucky and found a pair, but they charged her 50 pesos instead of 20. Oh well.

It was interesting to me to hear all the comments that people made about her as we walked by. I mean it seemed like EVERYONE had something to say and then they would laugh. Filipinos are really blunt about telling you how you look. Appearance is extremely important here. So if they don't think you look good, they will tell you. To your face. "You are too fat." "You're hair doesn't look good today." But, if they think you look good they will say, " You look sexy." Or whatever. It's bizarre, but that's how it is.

Well, I'm going to go get some lunch and try to find my supervisor now. Love to all and take care!

Spoons and Forks

2005-05-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've mentioned anything about eating utensils yet. Here in the Philippines, the eating utensils of choice are a large spoon and a fork. Knives aren't even offered. The spoon is actually what you put the food in your mouth with. The fork is called "the loader". It's used to pull meat off the bone and to scoop food onto your spoon. I actually enjoy eating this way.

I remember one time in the U.S., I was eating in a restaurant with someone. I was eating a spaghetti dish. Of course, they brought me a spoon and fork because in America we use the spoon as a tool to help spin the spaghetti around our forks so that we can eat it from the fork. Well, I was using the spoon to eat with because I found it more effective. I think I must have embarrassed the person I was with, because they reached over and offered to show me the correct way to use the spoon. I complied and didn't make a big deal about it, even though I felt embarrassed.

When I got here and discovered that Filipinos find spoons more effective for eating, I giggled.

It just goes to show that just because we may not fit in with the status quo where we are - it doesn't mean that we're crazy. It just means that we walk to a different beat. And we may find whole sets of people who walk (or even dance) to that same drumbeat. However, sometimes the drummer may be far, far away . . .

Just feeling a little reflective today. Anyway . . .

Going to get a haircut now and pack for my big trip tomorrow. Headed to Baguio in the morning. Then to Kapangan on Monday to experience my future home for a week. Exciting stuff. Of course I'll let you know how it goes. Take care. Love to all.

Losing Natosha

2005-05-06T02:21:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling sad. One of the girls in our group, Natosha, is getting sent home. She broke a rule and is getting the boot. I loved her. She's been a ray of sunshine. In fact, I took more pictures of her than anyone simply because she had the biggest grin and was always up for having her pic snapped. Here's what happened. The host country national (what PC calls Filipinos) who was hired by PC as the driver of the PC vehicle started flirting with her. He's about 35. She's 22. She was flattered. He told her he was separated from his wife. They became involved. Totally against the rules. I had noticed the eye contact between them and had gone to her and told her that I noticed and if she's going to go there, be very careful. She denied anything was going on (but at the same time, she had that big grin on her face).

He told her that he was separated from his wife, but he "forgot" to tell her about his 8 and a half month pregnant girlfriend. Apparently he and Natosha were somewhere making out and the girlfriend showed up and found them. She called PC and turned them in. He was fired and she was sent to Manila. She begged, pleaded, and promised her soul to the higher-ups at headquarters, but they extended no grace. They want us all to know that they are serious about the rules. They wouldn't even let her come back and say goodbye to us or her host family. I talked to her last night. She's in a state of shock. Totally bummed. It's very sad for all of us. She would have been an awesome volunteer. It just sucks.

So, sorry for the somber subject. It's just part of my experience and I wanted to record it here.

On a happier note, I will be leaving for my site visit this Sunday and I'm very excited about that. Two other volunteers and I will leave Solano on Sunday morning around 9:30. We will take a bus to Baguio City which is about eight hours away. We will spend the night in Baguio. Monday morning they will travel to their sites. Then on Monday afternoon I am meeting my work supervisor (the Principal at Kapangan Central National High School) at the bus terminal in Baguio. She has a meeting in Baguio on Monday, so she will accompany me on our two hour jeepney ride to Kapangan. I will stay with my new host family for a week. During the week I will be getting introduced around the community, attending some social functions, exploring the surrounding area, and visit the High School where I will be working and find out more about what they want me to do. I'm really looking forward to the whole experience. So, wish me luck and say a prayer. I'm going to need all the help I can get!

I must close for now. I'll write the next update whenever I can. It may be a week or more, though. There's no internet in Kapangan. I miss you guys and keep you all in my thoughts. Love to all.

Seeing the South China Sea

2005-05-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

It's been several days since my last post because I've been traveling. Last Friday all 20 of the PCTs in Northern Luzon traveled by bus to the province of La Union to do our water safety training in the South China Sea. Wow. It finally felt like I was on an island - and it was great!

The water was a delightful shade of teal - and relatively clear. The bottom was covered with rocks - mostly small and smooth, but a few larger ones. The sand was volcanic. It wasn't black, but it was dark and stuck to our feet when we walked on the beach. The beach held more small rocks than seashells, in shades of black, white, grey, red, gold, and green. I only found two very small shells. The water tasted saltier than both the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, if that's possible. The breeze was cool in the mornings and felt great at night, too. Palm trees and coconut trees sprinkled the coastline. The volleyball net stood supported by bamboo poles. Up and down the seaside groups of little naked brown bodies were splashing and playing and laughing and squealing. When a couple girls and I strolled along the beach, each time we met a group of kids they would say "Hello! What is your name?" (in English). They laughed and giggled when we replied in Ilokano and asked their names. Simple joy - so sweet.

The water safety training consisted of us watching a power point presentation and then going out 4 at a time in a "banka" (a wooden outrigger boat). We had to jump out of the boat wearing our lifejackets and then climb back into it. Granted, dragging my chubby buns out of the water up the side of a wooden boat with no ladder in the midde of the open sea wasn't a simple feat - I managed nonetheless. And now I know that I can do it if I ever find myself in the open water needing to be rescued!

The accomodations were acceptable, but very basic. We did have an airconditioner in our room, which was nice. Too bad it stopped working the second night. Oh well. I've learned to sleep in spite of the sweat. Just part of the authenticity of my life here, I suppose. SO looking forward to living in the cool mountains though! All in all, it was a really nice break from all the classes and studying that I've been doing. I look forward to visiting the beach again. It will be just about 4 or 5 hours from my permanent site, so feel free to come visit and I'll take you there! (We'll travel by jeepney, of course - which is a cultural experience in itself!)

So, I promised an update on how the party went. Here's the short version. About 70-100 people attended. The goat was roasted and the dog was a false alarm! If it was there, I never saw it. However, there were about twenty different dishes - 5 or 6 were different meats. I stuck to the goat. It was actually very tasty. After dinner we drank some beers and sang videoke. About ten of the other PCTs came to the party, so they were "very honored to have Madam Tracy and her colleagues" in attendance (as Andy, the guest of honor, announced). I continue to find Filipinos to be the most hospitible and gracious people that I have ever encountered. So, after such a sweet introduction, I felt compelled to sing a song simply because they wanted me to so badly. No, my singing voice hasn't improved since I've been here. But here's the deal, everybody in this country sings videoke and LOTS of people sound just like me. So . . . what the heck - might as well laugh at myself and have a good time - everyone else is! Awan ti problemma! (Not a problem).

Well, I guess I'll close for now. Hope all is well with all of you. You're in my heart and thoughts. Sige, baybay! (pronounced seegay, byebye - means okay, goodbye). I'll write more when I can.

Goat, Dog, and Videoke

2005-04-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

Goat, dog, and videoke. Go ahead, take three guesses - what do all of these have in common???

I'll give you a clue. Today is the 28th birthday of Manang Norma's son, Andy. She is having a big party at our house tonite in honor of him. The entertainment: Videoke. The food: (You guessed it) - Goat and Dog.

Yes, I must admit that it was a bit disheartening to awaken to the sound of a bleating goat. I looked outside and saw that they had the little goat tied down and were washing the neck. I couldn't watch them kill it. After that, I heard a dog squealing . . . I didn't even look. I didn't want to know. It's a whole other world. What can I say?

As far as videoke goes. It's rampant here! Filipinos LOVE to sing videoke! They rented the videoke machine yesterday, so last night we stayed outside while many of the kids and several adults sang their hearts out. Some songs were in English, some were in Tagalog. I went inside around 9pm and I think they sang until around 10. Tonite will be the big event, so no telling how late the party will go. The men like to drink gin. A few of the women drank beers last night (I had one to be social). But for the most part, the men drink and the women don't. Women who drink very much are considered "loose" - so protecting the reputation is important.

I'm sure the party will be interesting. I'll let you how it goes . . .

The meeting and merienda at the Baranguay Captain's house was a success. Thankfully, we had Paul, our instructor, to interpret for us. We were asked a few questions in Ilokano, which we were able to respond to (for the most part). And between the four of us Americans, we could understand most of the answers to our questions. They served us spaghetti and Pop cola for merienda. Living here has made me realize that spaghetti is a "universal" food. The only difference between Filipino and American spaghetti is that the sauce is meatless and much sweeter here. It's actually pretty good.

Well, that's it for today. I'll let you know how the party goes. (And how the food is! :-o) Sige, baybay!

Just a Short Report

2005-04-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick update on what I did this weekend. On Saturday I had language class from 8am til noon. Then I had lunch at one of my classmates host home in San Luis. After lunch, I walked back to my host home in Osmena (about 3K). It was really hot (no surprise there). After that, I took a rest under the fan and then walked into town and went to the internet cafe. I checked my email and then went and bought a phone card. Talked to all three of my kids on the phone - which makes me SO Happy! Saturday evening I studied Ilokano and read a book.

Sunday morning I got up and got ready for 6am mass, just to find out that my host sister (Manang Norma) had overslept. She came out of her (airconditioned) room around 7am. We ate breakfast and went to 8am mass. After mass, we went to the open market and bought fruits - oranges, grapes, and mangoes. The mangoes here are to die for! The oranges are small and really sweet. The grapes are red seedless. On Sundays the farmers bring their produce to town, so everything is nice and fresh. In the afternoon, I rested, read some more, and wrote a couple letters. It was a very relaxing weekend. Probably the closest I've come to feeling boredom since I've been here. Nice though.

Today, I'm on lunch break. Just ate at Chow King. Going back to the Baranguay Hall in a few minutes. Our group (the four of us and our language instructor) will be going to the Baranguay Captain's house this afternoon. We're going to interview him for a project we are doing - developing a community history timeline of San Luis. We will be having merienda at his house (the snacks that people eat at 10am and 3pm everyday) Yum. Anyway, this man doesn't speak very much English, so it should be interesting. He's expecting us to question him in Ilokano - yeah, right. Well, we'll do our best, anyway.

Gotta run. Thanks for the comments and emails. Keep in touch - you keep me going! Sige, baybay!

Miles of Smiles

2005-04-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

Someone told me that there was a study done which indicates that despite the poverty and hardship in which they live, Filipinos are some of the happiest, most content people on the planet. You know what? I believe it. I see people smiling everywhere. In my host family home there are people coming and going all the time and I'm always hearing laughter. I hear people talking to children using terms like "my darling" and "my love". It's great. I think it's contageous - because I gotta admit that I'm feeling happy most of the time these days. Hopefully, the Filipino complexion will be contagious too and some of these wrinkles I've accrued over the years will disappear! ;-)

Speaking of happy, I was reading about Kapangan, Benguet (where I will move to in June and live for the next two years) and it showed that the average temperature is about 18c which I believe is about 65f. Woohoo! I'm gonna get cooled down yet. God knows what I need.

And speaking of God. It never fails to crack me up that what a sense of humor he has. When the PC regional manager was telling me about my site assignment, she was telling me all about the high school and the principal and how excited they were to be getting a volunteer, etc. Then she informed me that there was one small thing that she needed to disclose to me. My little town has been in the news lately due to one of their crops. It seems that Kapangan is also known as the "marijuana capital" of the Philippines. Too funny. But not to fear, the mayor (who is the husband of the high school principal who will be my supervisor) has launched a "Don't Do Drugs" campaign in the community. Sure glad that I don't smoke marijuana! :-)

I'm out of here for today. Hope you're all enjoying life in America. And don't forget to *smile* at the red lights! :-)

My New Normal

2005-04-20T02:08:00.000-07:00

It's amazing that I've only been in this country a little over three weeks and already so many things that are truly "foreign" seem so "normal" to me.

In this short post I thought I'd share just a few.

1) Cold bucket baths. No bathtubs. No showers. Just a bucket of cold water and a small handheld bucket (the size of a one-quart saucepan) and a bar of soap. I would never dream of showering without wearing flip-flops. It's amazing just how little water it actually takes to clean one's body!

2) Constant cock-a-doodle-doing of roosters. Yes, even in the residential areas of town like where I live the roosters crow all the time. Not just at the break of dawn (that's just a myth). It's a constant - and amazingly, I don't even notice them most of the time.

3) Dogs, dogs, and more dogs. Not just dogs, but skinny rice-eating dogs. They're everywhere (except for inside my host family home - Thank God!!!!) They have fleas and lice and all sorts of critters climbing on them, I'm sure. People don't really pet them much, but they do eat them from time to time (I've yet to get offered any "aso" yet, but other PCTs have!)

4) No traffic signals. Really, it's just a free-for-all on the roadways that seems to work out miraculously! And to cross the street you simply walk out into the traffic and they will slow down and let you pass. And really, the side of the street you drive on depends on what is most convenient at the time to get to where you're going. No traffic cops. No speed limits. Just lots and lots of honking going on!

5) Very little ice. Those of you that know me well know how very much I love to crunch ice. So, if you can figure out how to send me a bag of Sonic ice without it melting . . . I'll be your best friend :-) Ha! But really, it hasn't been a problem. They do have something called HaloHalo, which is a shaved ice drink mixed with lots of fruit and condensed milk and sugar. It's a yummy satisfying treat in the hot afternoons.

6) Blaring television and American music (mostly soft rock from the 80s). It seems that the belief is that the llouder you play your radios and televisions, the more money you must have. So . . . usually, the crowing roosters and barking dogs are accompanied by American music blaring from someone's house. (Remember, very few windows have screens or glass and the houses are pretty close together). Aaah, what a sweet cacophony . . .

7) The smell of smoke. People burn their trash here. Not in burn barrels out back like we did when I was a kid growing up in Oklahoma. They burn it in small piles by the street, every morning, every afternoon. The smoky smell of burning trash is just part of the ambiance, what can I say?

8) Fumes, fumes, and more fumes. And, if the smell of smoke doesn't burn your throat hairs - the smell of vehicle fumes will! There are SO MANY tricycles here and they each put off an amazing amount of smoke. The jeepneys also emit lots and lots of fumes. And then there are the MotorCoach buses that pass through - let's hear it for deisel fumes!! Many people (including me) carry handkerchiefs and cover their noses when walking on the streets.

Well, I guess that's enough for now. My compadres are leaving, so I'll go too. One last thing, just because I've noted all these seemingly negative points - I really do love it here and it is absolutely amazing to me just how all of these little things are beginning to seem so "normal". Love to all.

My Site Assignment - Yippee!

2005-04-19T02:24:00.000-07:00

Today was the big day that all the trainees have been waiting for. We were told where we would be stationed permanently and I am SO excited! I'm going to a community called Kapangan, in Benguet Province. It is located in the mountains just north of Baguio (the summer capital of the Philippines). I just came from the hubsite where we were given our packets with the information regarding our sites, so I haven't had time to read through it all yet, but I do know that it's good. Right now, I'm probably most excited because it's going to be cool! Oh yeah. Not to feel the drip, drip, drip of my upper lip - aaaah.

I still have several more weeks here in the Solano area, but that's okay at least I know that I'll have a beautiful area to be stationed in for the next two years. I am also glad to know that another volunteer (who I really like) will be stationed about an hour (or less, depending on the road conditions - all dirt) away. She'll be stationed in La Trinidad. She is about 23 years old and is actually 6'2" tall (and I always thought Sommer was tall!) I'm pleased that I'll have her nearby.
The only slightly negative news that I got about my sight is that there is no internet access, so I have to go to Baguio to use the computer. I was really hoping for a place that had an internet cafe - and I requested that several times, but that's not what I got. Other than that, it actually sounds perfect for me though. I'll just make a trip to Baguio once a week (at least) and post on here, read and return emails. You guys keep writing me now - I mean it - I need to hear from my peeps!

What little I know about my job assignment so far sounds very exciting. I'll be working in a high school that has about 600 students. I'll be working the remedial reading program, developing curriculum and doing teacher training and probably some classroom teaching. It will be a challenge and a great opportunity for growth. I'm pumped.

Well, it will be dark before too long and I still have to walk home, so I better go. Love to all. Keep the emails, letters, and posts coming. I love hearing from all of you guys - it's what keeps me going! Take care.

Life in the Compound

2005-04-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can hardly believe it. I finally found a way to get to the internet two days straight! I guess the secret is to be brave and do it by myself. My friends and I had lunch and walked around town a bit after lots of meetings and language class this morning. They decided to go back to their baranguay (San Luis) and I stayed here in Solano to use the internet and I will walk home whenever I am finished. I live about 10 to 12 blocks from here. It's about 3:30pm and it feels like it's about 100 degrees outside! I'm sitting at a computer with a fan not far from me, so I'm only glistening (as opposed to sweating buckets like I will whenever I walk home).

Living at my host family home is really interesting. Like I said in my previous post, I live with a widow woman and her son, but's that just a small slice of the picture. We actually live on a property (they refer to it as a compound) where there are three other residences and a canteen out front, so there are many people around all the time - including children. Next door to the main house where I stay is Manong Norma's daughter and her husband and three children. They live in a very small house that looks rather dilapidated on the outside but is extremely clean and well furnished inside. The wife is a high school teacher and speaks very good English and her husband works in the Municiple Government offices. Her children are a son, age 11, a daughter, age 7, and another son, age 1.

Outside their front door and across the sidewalk is what appears to be a shack. Actually, it is the residence of Manong Norma's uncle who appears to be in his 70s. She told me he is a medicine man and that many people come to him for the herbal pastes that he makes and grinds with his teeth. He's a very interesting looking man, very dark skin, usually wears boxers and a fanny pack and walks around without a shirt. He is very stooped and has deep set, ancient eyes. I'm actually fascinated by him.

Over the storage building is another residence. This family live in what appears to be one room and none of the windows have screens or glass. They don't appear to have an indoor bathroom, so I think they all wash in an open washroom outside. There's a mother who is 39, who I really like even though she speaks very little English and it's tough to communicate with her. She works for Manong Norma in the canteen and she does people's laundry (by hand, of course). Her husband drives a tricycle (the main mode of public transportation here in Solano). They have three children, a daughter, age 15, a son, age 14, and a little girl, age 4.

Out front near the street is the canteen. It's a small store with a walk-up window where people in the neighborhood come to buy various items such as snacks, ice (whenever it's available), envelopes, etc. Manong Norma says that whenever my Ilokano is better she will let me work there some Sunday afternoon. I told her that I have "retail experience" so I would love to - Ha! (I knew all those years of furniture sales would come in useful ;-)

Manong Norma has a catering business and she also raises flowers in pots that she sells. The flowers all have to be watered twice a day. Last evening I went outside and saw her watering. I asked her if I could be helpful and so she handed me the water hose (she actually has a well on her property with running water, which is very rare) and told me to water flowers. I spent the next hour or so watering all the beautiful flowers. I asked one of the kids "How do I say 'I am watering the flowers' in Ilokano?" He told me and after I finally repeated it back correctly, I kept saying it over and over while I was watering. They just laughed and laughed, which made me laugh and laugh. I'm sure they're thinking "This American woman is CRAZY!!!" It was a hoot. It was the first time I actually felt like I had made a connection with the kids and I really liked that.

I could go on with my stories and descriptions for pages but I will close for now and share more later. Love to all of you.

Living With a Host Family

2005-04-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

So, I'm now living with my first host family. I live in Solano, Nueva Vizcaya, Philippines in the barangay of Osmena. I live with a widow who is 58 years old and her son is 28 (but I rarely see him - he stays away). My hostess told me to call her Manong Norma (sister Norma). She is a prominent person in the community and pretty wealthy by Filipino standards. In the house there is a flushing toilet (one of only 20 or so in the community). She also has electricity and screens on the windows. No airconditioning (and boy, is it hot!) but at least I have an electric fan in my room. It's not so bad. The worst part is the heat and missing everyone.

Well, the other PCVs are leaving now, so I have to go, too. I will update more as soon as I can!!
Love to all!!!!!

You know you're in the Philippines when . . .

2005-04-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

Today as I was walking into town so that I could use the internet, it dawned on me that I'm really here. And here are just a few things that finally convinced me that I'm not in Oklahoma anymore. . .

At our official "Welcome Dinner" I had to fish a Junebug out of my water and I flicked about 20 other bugs off the table.

In my room, I'm thankful for the lizards running up the walls because they eat the mosquitoes.

Walking into town, I passed several rice fields with people wading up to their knees in mud and water slinging seeds from a bucket because it's planting season here.

On the same walk to town, I passed two water buffalo. They're big, but not any bigger than an Oklahoma bison.

When I shower, I don't have to hurry before the water gets cold - it's always cold - I have to hurry because I'm sharing the shower with at least 10 to 15 mosquitoes (all wanting to "taste the American" I imagine!)

And last but certainly not least . . . I know that I'm in the Philippines because today I got passed by a tricycle (motorcycle with a sidecar - for hire) carrying a live pig as its passenger!

It's an adventure, for sure.

For all of you who are wondering where I am and how I'm doing . . . I am in Northern Luzon in the province of Nueva Vizcaya, in the city of Byombong. I have been here since last Thursday. I've been staying on a university campus with a group of 19 other Peace Corps Trainees and a training staff.

Tomorrow we divide into smaller groups and move to individual communities to begin our community- based training. I will be living with a host family in San Luis. It is near the city of Solano. In San Luis, four other PCTs will be staying with other families and our language teacher will be there as well. In the mornings we will have structured language classes. We will be learning Ilokano. In the afternoons we will go into the community and practice our language, meet people, organize community meetings, etc. It feels a little overwhelming, yet exciting. I'm ready to learn some of the language so that I can speak to the locals in their local language.

I do miss my family and loved ones and your thoughts and prayers are extremely important to me. They keep us very busy, however, which helps keep me going.

We have almost as many meals as meetings. At 6:30am we have breakfast. At 10am we have merienda (sizeable snack). At noon we have lunch. At 3pm we have another merienda. And at 6:30pm we have dinner. In between all those meals we have meetings. It's been exhilarating, but it will be nice to get to the host family site and experience what Filipino homelife is like.

I'll close for now. Keep those emails and letters coming (even though we haven't received any mail yet). And I'll write back and update this site everytime I have the opportunity. Love to all!

Going to Church

2005-04-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

Today a few of the other Volunteers and a few of the Staff went to mass at the local Catholic Church. The Pope died and we thought it would be a respectful gesture and a good cross-cultural experience. It turned out to be an excellent experience. First of all, I had never seen such a beautiful alter in a Catholic Church. Behind the priest, there was a stone wall about 6 feet tall. Above the wall was the open sky with beautiful flowering trees and flowers. In front of that was a 20 foot statue of Mary. Trust me, my description doesn't do it justice. During the service birds were flying in and around the sanctuary and a kitty cat even climbed up the wall! The service was very touching. I feel so thankful to be here and to be supported by so many loved ones.

Right now, my Peace Corps friends are waiting for me to go so I have to cut it short. I will write more the very next time I have the opportunity to get on a computer.

In Manila and Safe!

2005-03-31T15:26:00.000-08:00

Well, we finally arrived here in Manila close to midnight last night. The flight from Detroit was long, but tolerable. We flew into Japan and landed in Nagoya (sp?). There, we deplaned for about an hour. Gotta say, those Japanese sure know how to build fancy, high tech airports! The flight to Japan was about 12 hours and the flight to Manila was only about 3 1/2, so we didn't end up having to be on the plane for 19 hours after all. Thank God.

Here in Manila we are staying at a nice resort for the next 5 days. This is our adjustment time, I suppose. They are easing us into this life gently. I, for one, appreciate that. At midnight last night, the temperature here was about 85 and the humidity was high. It's okay, though.

After the 80 of us leave here, we will be split into groups and sent to different regions for our training. I still don't know where I will be going for sure, but I do know that it will be somewhere on the island of Luzon. Luzon is the main island where Manila is. Beyond that, I really don't have many more details.

Right now, I am using the only computer with internet access in the entire hotel, so I don't have much time. I will update this site every time I have the opportunity. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers and know that you are all in mine!

Staging in Detroit

2005-03-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am in Detroit. I've finally met the other volunteers in my group and I am happy to report that they all seem great. As I suspected, I am the only person here from Oklahoma, but that's okay. No one is holding it against me.

Yesterday was a really long day. My flight left at the crack of early, so I had to get up way before early. Of course, I stayed up way late, so I ended up getting only 3 hours sleep. When I arrived in Detroit I was tired. Then I had to meet people and sit through meetings. All in all it was a very long day. By 10 pm I was exhausted. Fortunately, my bed was comfy and I got 8 hours sleep and awoke feeling refreshed today.

More meetings today, and then we found out details on our flight to Manila. We leave tomorrow afternoon at 2:35 and arrive in Manila at 10:45 pm. We land in Tokyo to refuel, but won't deplane. The flight is almost twenty hours. So far, this all still feels pretty normal. I mean, I've been to Detroit and I've been to hotel conferences. However, I've got a feeling that things are about to change. Like, in the very near future. Twenty hours on a plane and deboarding in a hot, humid place with strange smells, sights, languages, etc. Oh my.

Reflections from Home

2005-03-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

Oh my. I can't believe how fast time is flying just now! The trip to California was perfect. Seeing Tanner was wonderful - and yet, bittersweet. Just knowing that I won't be seeing him again for at least another year (when I come back for a visit) makes me sad. However, he is doing great at his job and looking great, so that did my mother's heart good. I don't know why, but God chose to give me a perfect son. I am so thankful.

Sommer flew in from Florida this Tuesday, so it's been great spending time with her. Like Tanner, she looks great and is doing well. It's sooo exhilarating to watch my babies spread their wings and fly. It's also comforting to know that they are always willing and ready to fly back and visit their mama from time to time.

I've also been spending all the time I can with Autumn and Abram. It's magical, mystical and simply miraculous watching my daughter be a mother. And I have to say, she is a natural. The love in her eyes for that beautiful baby boy and the way she smiles and interacts with him is amazing. The proof of her proficiency is how happy and healthy beautiful Abram is. He is now crawling, pulling up, and communicating verbally. He gives kisses and hugs and laughs and cries. He's perfect. And of course, he loves his YaYa!

Today is Friday. I'm flying to Detroit on Monday morning at 6:27 am. Then I will join about 80 other volunteers and fly to Manila on Wednesday. Oh my. I have so much to do and so many mixed emotions within. It's all good, though. We will all have what we need and will be fine. I have faith. Later.

Headed to California

2005-03-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

I'm blown away by how fast time is whizzing by right now! Tomorrow is a big day. I'm selling my beloved little car. I'm picking up a rental car and John and I are hitting the road and heading West as far as we can go. We're going to drive straight through. I'm planning on being in Santa Barbara on Thursday evening. Can't wait to see my son!

Have really been feeling sad the past few days. It's like I'm missing everyone in advance.

Will be back from California on March 20th. My plane leaves for Detroit at 6:27am Monday, March 28th. Yikes! Only one week here after I get back to pack all my stuff and say all my goodbyes. Oh my. This is really going to happen.

Hope to write or audio from California. More later.

Audio Blogs (googoo gaga yaya)

2005-03-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, so yesterday I experimented with audio blogging for the first time (see audio post below). I'm thinking this will be a good way for Abram, my soon-to-be seven month old grandson, to hear my voice so that it will be easier for him to remember and recognize me whenever I get back from the Peace Corps.

I know I sound silly on here . . . but it's all for the sake of love . . . for the love of my beautiful Abram Michael Daves Osburn.

Audio for Abram

2005-03-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

March already!

2005-03-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it is already March 1. This is the very month that my great big, gigantic, five-years in the making, dream is actually going to transpire. Wow. Hard to believe. Even though I'm going to miss my loved ones like crazy - it still just feels right. It truly is a desire of my heart and I plan to see it through. But, dear God, how I will miss my family and friends!

Yesterday I bought a digital camera (Canon A85). Hopefully, I'll learn to use it soon and figure out how to post some pictures on here! I also bought a mini Ipod so I can listen to music without having to transport a bunch of cds. I ordered a headset for my computer with hopes of having access to the internet so that I can call home using the *free* Skype software that I downloaded. It only costs .02 cents per minute to call any telephone, anywhere in the U.S. And it's absolutely free if the other person has the software on their computer. All of you who have computers and might like to talk to me for free - check it out! It also offers an instant messaging service. I guess the only other electronic item I need to purchase is an audio recorder (for language lessons).

As for clothing, I'm planning on packing pretty light. I understand that just about everything we will need will be available to purchase in Manila. However, I did order two pair of Chaco sandals (which are half price to PCVs if you call customer service and request the form at 970.527.4990). I'm anxious for them to get here so I can try them on!

Okay, enough of my puchasing and packing details for now. I'll write more later.

First Post

2005-02-27T17:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here goes . . . I'm blogging! Just two weeks ago, I barely knew what a blog was ("blog" is short for web log.) Now, look at me go - woo hoo!

I am getting extremely excited about my upcoming Peace Corps experience in the Philippines. I am also feeling a bit nervous and overwhelmed. A few of my concerns are related to packing and making preparations, i.e. "Will I take everything I need? Will I think of all the business stuff I need to attend before I leave? . . . etc." However, my greatest concern is this: How am I going to stand living away from all my loved ones for the next 27 months? You all know who you are. Please don't forget me - and know that I'll be missing you all.